Memento Mori from Rachel
I sent an email to a girl who commented on my blog, who said she would buy me the new Flyleaf CD, Memento Mori. She said she felt compelled to do it. She got me the extended version, and there’s like 19 songs on it. I was so surprised when I looked in the mail and saw her blue package. We’ve continued to talk, and the CD is AWESOME!! I really appreciate what she did, and without her asking me, I said I would draw her something since I love to draw and because I was blown away by her kindness. I’ve been having a really hard time because I want to be in a relationship with the person I am going to marry, and I just don’t want to waste time. I trust God as much as I can, and I expect him to bring me that someone.
He has brought my friend the one who is right for her, and at least a couple of my other friends are already engaged. I’ve sat through a couple weddings feeling this desperate, and I hear about how much fun my friends are having, and it sucks, but I trust God. Rachel, the girl who sent me the CD, told me about the song ‘Treasure’, which is about Lacey praying to God for help with relationships. God told her to go to sleep for awhile and that he would pick her out a husband. One day he told her it was time, and now she’s married and really happy.. I can barely talk about it because I feel so left out of the huge circle of love and relationships. I love Flyleaf to death, but I hate to admit it: this is just really, really hard.
Anyhoo, the moral is to pray to God and trust that he will bring you that special one. I trust, even when I’m in pain. It takes courage but at least I know he has my best interest in mind! A good thing is when I listened to the CD, it actually wasn’t painful like I thought it might be, I just had to skip the song Treasure for right now. But SUPPORT THE BAND AND BUY THE CD! I’m sure they would appreciate it. Rachel said she believes God uses the CD to reach her, and that it has changed her life. She was in pain because of relationships and the music has really uplifted her and she listens to it a lot. I know Flyleaf will kick butt and reach the hearts of people and uplift them with the name of Jesus. Who knows? Maybe in time, I will be able to listen to the song and it will uplift me. Their site is here! Rachel’s blog is here and go check it out. It talks about how her relationships have gone bad and how God is changing her life. 🙂
Attempting to Finish the Bible
I’d like to bring up the time God put it in my heart to finish the bible. He didn’t say anything, but he just kind of let me know that I should. I remember looking at my bible when this happened. I can always distinctly tell if something is truly from God. I had already read over half of it when he let me know, and I have read a lot since then.
I try really hard to understand the big picture- what it is he really wants me to gain from reading the bible, what it is he really wants me to know. It is so easy to get caught up in the rules and not even understand the reason behind them. Basically, I’m trying not to get caught up in smaller things (though they are still important) and just really get an idea of what God’s heart is like. His heart is basically the bible, and I want to understand some of his heart. It is so freakin’ huge!! If I can get a glimpse at his heart, I can start to understand what he really wants me to do and how he really wants me to live. If I focus too much on things that are not as important, I may miss what it is that he really wants me to know, and miss what he is all about.
I’ve got about 100 pages left out of the 861! Woohoo! I don’t read every single day, but I like to read at least a few times a week. It is important to spend a lot of time reading the word, trying to understand it, and then trying to apply it. Good luck with it!
I finally started writing my book of poetry I wanted to write. It has to do with how I felt before I accepted Jesus Christ and how I felt afterwards, so there’s poetry from before and after. It’s very sad because of how I felt, but very uplifting because it talks about how he took care of all the pain (which is another reason I trust him with relationships, even though I’ve been in so much pain for awhile). It will include a lot of the art I have drawn over the years, and I added a page on this blog that displays some of that art. It is here. It will talk about evangelism and how I’ve been moving to spread the word about God. Writing it can sometimes be difficult because I get busy with school and stuff, but I try to make time for what is most important to me. My mom is a self-published author and said she would help me if I wanted to write a book. I’m super excited!!
I made Christmas cards for some of my friends, and it took all afternoon and all evening to complete 7 of them. I show my friends that I care this way… it’s also on my art page. My friend Cynthia gave me a gift she said not to open until Christmas, and I’m going to make her and some other friends some really neat art for Christmas, so I’ll be super busy today!