Archive for October 11, 2010

Vending Machines and Sleeping Sisters

Soooo. I had a very interesting fight with the vending machine today, lol. I put in a dollar, trying to buy a snickers. Unfortunately, when I selected snickers, the stupid thingy pushed the candy forward, but it got stuck. So I thought I would put another dollar in, and at least get one candy. And if I got lucky, maybe I could get both of them that I paid for.

But the machine froze up after I put the other dollar in, it was so weird. When I selected snickers, it didn’t do anything, and the machine kept switching the price- it said I had no money in there and then $1.75.

I was so frustrated. I had already lost 2 dollars in the machine some weeks ago because the machine stopped working. After that, it would work, and then this happens again. ):

I kept trying to get my change back over and over, and it wouldn’t come out. I just thought I was screwed. I remember saying to myself, “God, help me”. I dunno why. I kinda felt like God wouldn’t waste his time with such a small situation. Right after I asked for help, the next time I clicked the change release thing, two dollars came out.

I was surprised because A.) it wouldn’t release my change and then suddenly, it would, and B.) normally when you pay for something, after you select what you want and it pushes the candy forward, even if it gets stuck, it says you have already spent your money. The machine doesn’t realize whether it was stuck or not. I’m sure this one didn’t, because the thing was so ancient, anyway. xD If anything, one dollar seemed like all I would get.

Right after, I told God thanks a few times. I debated a bunch of times in my head whether this was just a coincidence or not. It sure was funny, it sure made me feel cool. Regardless, it keeps making me think about how God truly does care about everything we do.

He knows every breath we take, every step we take, he cares about all the things we do, all the things we say. He knows what we will say before we say them. He has counted every hair on our head.

I remember one time, my sister was in bed asleep, and I was standing next to the wall. I was just thinking about random stuff, and I remember looking at her, and randomly I thought “get up”, in my head, like I wanted her to get up. It didn’t really mean anything, it was a thought like any other thought.

But right after I thought it, she woke up, got out of bed, stood there and mumbled something that I don’t even think were real words, and then got back in bed and went right back to sleep. How did she wake, mumble something, and then just get back in bed?

I always look at that as God just having a little fun with me. It makes me realize that he truly does know all my thoughts, great in small. Everything I know and feel, he is there looking at it all. Nothing is hidden from the Lord.

He says we are precious, and he wants to take care of us because we are so precious. Like a mother taking care of her wonderful baby.

Psalm 139:1-16 said:

“O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me inโ€”behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.”

You are wonderfully and fearfully made. Christ loves you. He knows you. He is close- close enough to touch- even when you don’t realize it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Take notice of it. How? Just look around you; sometimes, all it takes are vending machines and sleeping sisters. ๐Ÿ™‚

*Poery Corner- Weight of the World, and Trusting Jesus

Wrote a poem called “Weight of the World”:

Blackest hearts,
Deepest, darkest secrets
Crazy things to hide
But the secret- can you keep it?
Admit only to yourself
That you are crazy as hell
But tell the world
Your fine, doing just well

There is something insane in your world
All alone, you spend your days
Doing your own thing
Don’t care about what noone says…
But when you feel lonely,
Don’t you wish you could open up
Have someone around you
When you’ve really had enough

Someone to take the weight off your shoulders
Share the hell you’ve been through
Someone who won’t act like you’re a freak,
Not out to judge you and condemn you

How many skeletons are in your closet?
A thousand and ten?
Blackest hearts,
Revealing the deepest of sins
It’s okay..
Jesus loves with his eyes closed
Choosing to ignore the bad things you’ve done
Telling you stuff that you don’t know
Like “you are worth much more
Than you think
I love you more than you could
Ever believe”
He’s not there to criticize you when you’re wrong
When you feel bad
He’s there to catch your tears and wipe your eyes
Weary and sad
Never leave you
Never feel alone again
He sees
The hell-hole world you’ve caught yourself in

And he forgives every secret sin
He’ll make the skeletons goes away
Trust in him
Make the demons stop calling your name
He accepts when people reject
Your painful truth
He’s the first to notice how much your hurting
And the last to turn away from you

In the blackest place in the world,
Where you never could survive
When you close your eyes
And just keep hoping to die
He meets you
Right there where you are
Just wants to get close to you
To heal your heart

And on the edge of the world,
Overseeing the blackest of days
And the deadliest of nights
Where stars in the sky are set ablaze
He holds my hand
And lets me feel peace
I have never known before
I feel at ease

In an ever dangerous world
When a wingless angel learns to fly
I know he’s safety;
Enough strength to help me get by

—————————————-

This poem is about how I felt at church today. I felt like Christ will accept anyone; no matter where they’ve come from, what they’ve done in their past, how many things have gone wrong. He will accept them even if they are strange to everyone else. He accepts all kinds of people from different races, nations, backgrounds. It’s because he loves us all as his own children, unconditionally. If we would just learn to trust in him, he will heal our wounds and fix our broken hearts.

There is no such thing as having too much baggage or doing too many bad things to be loved by Jesus. That’s simply impossible. He died for us to save us all because he loved us all so, so much. He wants to spend time with us, listen to us, lead us, comfort us, teach us, change us, grow us. He wants us to live positive and very fulfilling lives.

When I accepted Christ and I felt him working in my heart, this was the very first thing I felt; that he was effectively healing me in a way I could never heal myself before I knew him, and that he loved me and that he was comforting me and would protect me. That’s a good friend and a good father.

Reach out in your hearts. Take a step of faith. I guarantee you’ll be met with a hug; his embrace. He’s more concerned about how our hearts feel- whether or not they are hurting and desperately need his help- than what we look like on the oustide. He does not judge us as the world judges us; he does not view us as the world does. He pays attention to what’s in our heart- he’s really not concerned with how rich we are, how many cars we have, how much power we have. He wants to change our hearts. The world views us outwardly, he views us inwardly.

And he makes me feel beautiful to no end. I hate when people look at Christianity like it’s silly or corrupt. Some Christians can be corrupt- but those that will really show you what Jesus is like make all the difference. I guarantee you’ll find a friend and a helper in him. Just trust him, and you will not be let down. Really.

God bless you all. ๐Ÿ™‚