Archive for October 13, 2010

Reflecting on the Best Year of My Life

This is by far the best year of my life. I got saved in 2007, got my heart healed and radically changed and shaped by Jesus and the Gospel. Since then, there has been some major pitfalls and some failures, but there have been some good times. However, this year, I had New Year’s resolutions planned and broke down each goal into smaller goals, and each small goal I reached, I would reward myself for. So achieving the smaller goals helped me achieve the bigger ones.

I got much more involved with the guitar and the keyboard, much more involved with reading the bible; I finally am at the perfect school that I love, have the perfect job, and finally found the perfect church for me. I have broken out of my solitary shell and become much more socially active than ever before; I’ve got a blog, for crying out loud! And I actually use it, lol.

Jesus has been very good to me. I remember my heart was broke right before this year started, and even early in this year; relationship problems, family annoyances, all the like. But I have prayed to him and trusted in him. For awhile, I felt alone- for several months- but after that, he kept seeing my heart getting more and more broken and he decided to rescue me from that. Now, how often do you find yourself in the perfect circumstances, like the ones I am now? Perfect job? Perfect life? Not easily. I’ve felt closer to him this year than I ever felt before.

It just goes to show that trusting in him works. Even when things seem bad, never stop trusting him. Because you never know when he can turn your world upside down. I have achieved more dreams this year than I have ever achieved in my life, been happier than I have ever been in my life, been the least stressed and felt the most free. Every year is always hard to tolerate with a lot of stress on the side, but this year is amazing and and totally stress free. I’m in college and making good grades and it’s easier than it ever was in highschool. I am so blessed, I can’t believe it!

Just at the beginning of this year and before it, I felt completely worthless. Some guy totally made me feel like I deserved to die; that I didn’t belong to anyone. And I felt horrible. But Jesus saw that. For awhile, he didn’t seem like he was around, but he was always watching my heart in the end. It reminds me of when Jesus was on the cross. At one point he said,

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46

On, it says:

“One is struck by the anguished tone of this expression compared to the first three words of Jesus. This cry is from the painful heart of the human Jesus who must feel deserted by His Father and the Holy Spirit, not to mention his earthly companions the Apostles. As if to emphasize his loneliness, Mark even has his loved ones “looking from afar,” not close to him as in the Gospel of John. Jesus feels separated from his Father. He is now all alone, and he must face death by himself.”

He feels like his father is not with him, but so soon after he says this, he is in heaven in paradise with his father and with people he loves. That’s what my suffering reminds me of. My heart is all torn to pieces and I felt seperated from Jesus for awhile. I really hated it and dreaded every day of living. But so soon after that, I find myself in paradise, with the heart of Jesus. He is spending time with me. It lets me see that I should have hope in suffering, because it comes to an end and a reward always follows.

Christ is so powerful, I can’t thank him enough for giving me freedom after all my pain, again and again. Can’t thank him enough for shaping my heart. This is why it pays to have faith, folks. 😉 Love ya!!