Sponsoring a Child Confusion

This won’t be a very fun post. I remember in December of last year, I was considering sponsoring a child. I really did want to, with all my heart, and I still really want to.

I was praying about it, and God didn’t respond to me. However, I know I can afford to do it, and I know I have the time and energy to write letters to the child.

It’s just that something was holding me back. Right now, in my walk with God, I feel very unstable in some areas. And it bothered me so much, thinking I have so much to improve on, I didn’t feel like I was really in the right place.

I still have the idea in my heart, and I will keep considering it, until I finally get to the right place to do it. I would feel so weird trying to help this child when I often feel like I can’t even help myself.

Any thoughts? I really have no one to help me with my decision, and I feel bad about it, but I feel it would be better for my heart and the for the child if I waited. Like I don’t want to be really angry at God one day, and then still trying to tell the child how God is so loving.

I know I am bound to get angry at him from time to time, regardless of what I do, but I am way uncomfortable.

I don’t know. Sometimes, God calls us to be uncomfortable, for the sake of his Kingdom. I don’t truly know what the right answer is, I just know I am trying to do the right thing, whatever that may be.

Please pray for me.

-Jennifer

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5 Comments »

  1. Jennifer,

    Thanks so much for your honesty in posting this. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    I’ll also be honest with you – I work for a child sponsorship organization called Christian Foundation for Children and Aging <a href="http://www.hopeforafamily.org"(CFCA), and I sponsor a little boy, Victor, in Kenya.

    It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life – seeing how God can work through a very small $30 a month to bring hope, nutrition, clothing and education to an entire family. His mother writes letters to me on his behalf (he’s only 7), telling me how much of a blessing this sponsorship has been to her.

    I’m not trying to make you sponsor if you’re not ready, but I can say from my experience that often God gives me the strength to do something even as I’m doing it. Sometimes helping other people is God’s way of giving us help. Virtually all the sponsors I know – including me – will say that they are blessed just as much, if not more, by the love and appreciation they receive from their sponsored friends. They share their very lives with you. They become like a second family.

    It’s definitely a commitment, and I often go for months without hearing from Victor and his mother. When the letters do arrive, however, it’s more than worth it!

    God bless, and I will definitely be praying for you.

    Shanxi from CFCA

    • deadwednesdays Said:

      You are so right when you say that sometimes when we help others, we end up helping ourselves. Helping others gives me strength, as I give strength to others.

      I will keep considering this. Thank you sooo much for keeping me in your prayers, and I’ll pray for you and your boy and his family. I know this is something I eventually will do, I’m just having trouble deciding when.

      But it’s true that sometimes we don’t seem ready for something, but when we actually try, God gives us the strength. It may not make sense at first, but he will make it make sense. If I continue to decide against this now, I know I will revisit this in a few months, until I am ready. I know I probably am just a little afraid of the responsibilty, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it. 😀

      Thanks again, your thoughts mean a lot to me. I’ll check out your link and see what that’s all about.

      God bless you

      Jennifer

  2. Sorry, that link is wrong – should be http://www.hopeforafamily.org. 🙂

  3. cogs Said:

    i think god likes honesty, so telling him about why you’re angry will do you good. i say you, cause god already knows what you’re feeling before you tell him why. he’s probably more interested in how your adversity is going to make you react. you’ll have to adapt over time. it teaches patience, humility, and tests your trust.

    i go through the same thing, and i know it’s discouraging. the best thing i know to do is, as fast as possible, try to confess to god, and stay close to him. if i let my guilt stop me from coming to him quickly, i just delay the inevitable. because i eventually realize he’s the only way to go anyway. he even says that he’s the way of truth and life.

    • deadwednesdays Said:

      You make me more confident in myself. I feel like I need to be honest with God and let him know how I feel, even when it is difficult. He appreciates our honesty. He does know what we are going through, even before we say anything.

      But it is to make us stronger. He uses our hard times to teach us to be patient, to hold on, to know that he will take care of us.

      He really is the only way. I’ll try to be honest, and let him know what’s going on in my heart. I’ll try not to be hostile and remember he understands where I’m coming from.

      Thanks for the encouragement. 😀

      I love talking to you because a lot of times I feel really guilty about something, generally more than necessary, and you open my eyes and help me realize more and more that God understands and wants to help me. =)


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