This won’t be a very fun post. I remember in December of last year, I was considering sponsoring a child. I really did want to, with all my heart, and I still really want to.
I was praying about it, and God didn’t respond to me. However, I know I can afford to do it, and I know I have the time and energy to write letters to the child.
It’s just that something was holding me back. Right now, in my walk with God, I feel very unstable in some areas. And it bothered me so much, thinking I have so much to improve on, I didn’t feel like I was really in the right place.
I still have the idea in my heart, and I will keep considering it, until I finally get to the right place to do it. I would feel so weird trying to help this child when I often feel like I can’t even help myself.
Any thoughts? I really have no one to help me with my decision, and I feel bad about it, but I feel it would be better for my heart and the for the child if I waited. Like I don’t want to be really angry at God one day, and then still trying to tell the child how God is so loving.
I know I am bound to get angry at him from time to time, regardless of what I do, but I am way uncomfortable.
I don’t know. Sometimes, God calls us to be uncomfortable, for the sake of his Kingdom. I don’t truly know what the right answer is, I just know I am trying to do the right thing, whatever that may be.
Please pray for me.