Archive for Randomness and Rhymes

*Poetry Corner- The Bride of Christ

I want to build up a church
Foundation of Jesus Christ
Growing in strength and size
Through the faithful hearts
Of his saints
I want a church that makes
The name of Jesus famous
One life at a time
The name that matters most
Certainly isn’t mine
I want a church built up on strong faith,
Growing through deliberate action
A church that takes risks in the
Name of Jesus
A church that burns out
The evil flame in Satan’s heart
I want to build a church
That makes larger the kindgom of heaven
And pushes the gates of hell
Closed forever
A church that stands up in the storm
Remaining beautiful and warm
Despite the troubles of the world
A church desperate for the truth of Christ
As his heart makes the word come alive
I want the church
To appear as his flawless, beautiful bride
I want a church
That stands firm in a world of distress
A church where Jesus becomes greater
As we become less
I want to build up the very love of Jesus Christ
To make much larger his glorious, beautiful bride

————————
I love the church. She means everything to Jesus, she means everything to me. The church is the collective people of Christ- all of his faithful Christians. It matters to me that more people are added to their number, and that she appears flawless and perfect before Jesus. The world should also notice her captivating beauty. As a Christian, it is my job to help do just that. It’s every Christian’s job to help do just that.

*Poetry Corner- I Won’t Apologize

When people say I’m a weirdo for believing in Jesus, I look at them like they are stupid. I feel like this: Why on earth will I give up on a love that has made me feel completely whole? If I listen to their ridiculous opinions, I will loose the greatest love I’ve ever known, the most freedom in joy I have ever felt, and this is what I have to say about that:

I Won’t Apologize

I don’t care who laughs at me for loving Jesus
Who mocks me for believing in “fairy tales”
But I won’t apologize for committing my life
To something that rescued me from the hell
I once lived in every day, on my own
Standing on the edge of everything I’ve known
About to fall over into the sketchy blackness
Through the power of his love
I could feel him pull me back

I won’t EVER apologize
For allowing my heart to heal,
For the very first time in my life
I won’t apologize
For going from a passive life
To an active one
Where I can achieve my dreams
By any means

Why the hell should I be sorry
For being happy, being complete
Learning what it’s like to be a whole person
For the very first time
In an ocean of worry,
I use to sink to the bottom to drown
But by trusting Christ
Look at the love I’ve found
Condemned to be free
Learning to breathe
Learning to breathe

White-hot passion fills my bones
Commitment to the realest love I’ve ever known
Walking in his footsteps
I won’t dare to fall back
Into a world that gave up on me
I will follow in his footsteps
And try to reach
The broken heart
The hurting child, the outcast,
The left-out
The down-trodden, the left-behind,
The forgotten about
I will reach the hearts that
Never before
Have been reached, all this time
I’ll show them that he loves their abandoned hearts
I know this his true,
Because he has loved mine

—————

So when people say you are a freak for loving Christ, let them call you a freak. Is it so freaky to want to feel fulfilled in your life, to feel loved by someone who is looking out for you? So freaking to grow past the fears and worries and anxieties of the world, because you have peace in Christ? Is it so weird to feel more incredible than you ever have before? If people say it is, refuse to apologize!! 🙂 Don’t give them what they want. Love you all~

-Jennifer Clayton

*Poetry Corner- Like a Hurricane

I am in love with who I am,
My attitude
Humble towards the Lord
He lifts me up
Lets me lead
Lets the humblest
Lead all others
I am a bird
I cannot fly higher in the sky
My life is meaningful
More than others know
I don’t need the things of this world
Money or cars, not fame for me
Unless of course it’s for Jesus’s name
I don’t need casual sex
Or partying or cheap thrills
Drugs, alcohol, gossip, lies, deceit
I am pure in my heart
Jesus has wiped my life clean
Forgiven me for the filthy things I’ve done
Erased the filthy ways I feel
A heart so broken, never thought it could heal
Jesus, his love, lifted my chin up,
Still lifts my chin up
Makes life worth living
And I throw the things of the world away
Stand proud in him,
Stand up for his name,
Which is his heart
I will not throw myself away
In this life
He says I’m beautiful, knows I’m beautiful
And truly, I’m happiest standing in his love
I’m freest when I’m not held down by the
Things of this world

Fleeting feelings of fun come and go
Like a hurricane
Without warning they’re there and then they’re gone
Wrecking everying in their path
Leaving nothing but broken homes, broken hearts,
Broken dreams, broken lives
But Jesus is my indestructable shelter
Keeping hurricanes away
Outside my window, I look and cry
As I see people totally destroyed with nowhere
To go
And I walk outside,
Every brave step I make,
It’s Jesus taking it for me
I do not fear being torn down by hurricanes
For I am truly indestructable

Even if my body is destroyed by the storm
Nothing can change me in my heart
Take me away from my king
I do not bow down to the things of this world
But to the only one who can save me from the storm
King Jesus
I wear his name bravely on my sleeve,
Tattooed on my heart permanently

And I go and grab the hands of all
The broken people sitting where the
Hurricanes hit
I lift them up, tell them about the
Refuge, the safety in Jesus,
That’s only found in Jesus,
And not in the things of this world
Take them to my indestructable shelter
Where they can be safe
In their hearts
And they go there
Not believing until they sit inside
And see none of the hurricanes can
Harm them anymore,
Can touch them, ruin them anymore
And there is a change in their hearts
From disbelief to belief in the truth that
Jesus saves all who trust in him
Because he loves everyone
No matter who they are, where they come from,
What kind of life they’ve left behind
They are safe in the shelter
Because he’s strong enough to protect them,
Shield them from the things of this life
That kill
Sin and the worldy things
That look fun but decieve you
And destroy everything you have

Yes, this change from disbelief to belief
Is a change in their hearts
And those hearts change from weak
And sinful
To pure and truly indestructable
And even with shelter in Jesus,
They are not afraid of hurricanes
And they leave this comfortable place
Even if their bodies are destroyed by the storm
Nothing can change them in their hearts

And now they can go out, reach
For someone’s hand to help them up
And lead them to the shelter, the safety in Jesus

Telling them
Fleeting feelings of fun come and go
Like a hurricane
Without warning they’re there and then they’re gone
Wrecking everying in their path
Leaving nothing but broken homes, broken hearts,
Broken dreams, broken lives
But Jesus is my indestructable shelter
Keeping hurricanes away
They’re telling these people
That Jesus loves them and begs them to come home

-Jennifer Clayton 🙂

Click here to Accept Christ!

Picture of Jesus, *Poetry Corner- His Love Is

**Click for actual size

So I drew this on neondragonart.com. It’s an excellent drawing site. I draw most of my stuff there. I kept working on this picture until I just couldn’t work on it anymore. It was so painful because it’s hard to just draw someone you love dying, for hours.

Numerous times, I had to stop and lay down until the pain went away. And then I continued. I loved drawing it, but am glad to be done because I don’t have to feel such pain… hope you enjoy. 🙂 Took 14 1/2 hours to draw.

Also, I wrote a poem last night, called “His Love Is”

His love is
Deeper, richer than the bluest sky
Warmth within the coldest night
Within blackness, a spark of light
Within desolation, a scrap of hope
Stretching from coast to coast

His love is
Fingerprints on the soul
The dust leaving a trail of gold
The shimmer stretches and grows
‘Til it’s the only thing you know

His love is
Bandages on the heart
So strong it tears your pain apart
A breathtaking form of art
A reason for a brand new start

His love is
Reaching across everything
Turning you upside down
Gripping and shaking you
Wrestling you to the ground
Lifting you all the way up
Turning your life around

And it hits you so hard
It takes your breath away
We fall face down to give him praise
We fall face down because we’re
Dealt a blow of grace
Knocked out cold
Entrust him with our souls
And it’s all because
He’s the only one
Who truly knows how to love

Lifting up broken hearts with golden wings
His love is everything

—————
I hope he touches your heart the way he has touched mine.

-Jennifer Clayton

*Poery Corner- Weight of the World, and Trusting Jesus

Wrote a poem called “Weight of the World”:

Blackest hearts,
Deepest, darkest secrets
Crazy things to hide
But the secret- can you keep it?
Admit only to yourself
That you are crazy as hell
But tell the world
Your fine, doing just well

There is something insane in your world
All alone, you spend your days
Doing your own thing
Don’t care about what noone says…
But when you feel lonely,
Don’t you wish you could open up
Have someone around you
When you’ve really had enough

Someone to take the weight off your shoulders
Share the hell you’ve been through
Someone who won’t act like you’re a freak,
Not out to judge you and condemn you

How many skeletons are in your closet?
A thousand and ten?
Blackest hearts,
Revealing the deepest of sins
It’s okay..
Jesus loves with his eyes closed
Choosing to ignore the bad things you’ve done
Telling you stuff that you don’t know
Like “you are worth much more
Than you think
I love you more than you could
Ever believe”
He’s not there to criticize you when you’re wrong
When you feel bad
He’s there to catch your tears and wipe your eyes
Weary and sad
Never leave you
Never feel alone again
He sees
The hell-hole world you’ve caught yourself in

And he forgives every secret sin
He’ll make the skeletons goes away
Trust in him
Make the demons stop calling your name
He accepts when people reject
Your painful truth
He’s the first to notice how much your hurting
And the last to turn away from you

In the blackest place in the world,
Where you never could survive
When you close your eyes
And just keep hoping to die
He meets you
Right there where you are
Just wants to get close to you
To heal your heart

And on the edge of the world,
Overseeing the blackest of days
And the deadliest of nights
Where stars in the sky are set ablaze
He holds my hand
And lets me feel peace
I have never known before
I feel at ease

In an ever dangerous world
When a wingless angel learns to fly
I know he’s safety;
Enough strength to help me get by

—————————————-

This poem is about how I felt at church today. I felt like Christ will accept anyone; no matter where they’ve come from, what they’ve done in their past, how many things have gone wrong. He will accept them even if they are strange to everyone else. He accepts all kinds of people from different races, nations, backgrounds. It’s because he loves us all as his own children, unconditionally. If we would just learn to trust in him, he will heal our wounds and fix our broken hearts.

There is no such thing as having too much baggage or doing too many bad things to be loved by Jesus. That’s simply impossible. He died for us to save us all because he loved us all so, so much. He wants to spend time with us, listen to us, lead us, comfort us, teach us, change us, grow us. He wants us to live positive and very fulfilling lives.

When I accepted Christ and I felt him working in my heart, this was the very first thing I felt; that he was effectively healing me in a way I could never heal myself before I knew him, and that he loved me and that he was comforting me and would protect me. That’s a good friend and a good father.

Reach out in your hearts. Take a step of faith. I guarantee you’ll be met with a hug; his embrace. He’s more concerned about how our hearts feel- whether or not they are hurting and desperately need his help- than what we look like on the oustide. He does not judge us as the world judges us; he does not view us as the world does. He pays attention to what’s in our heart- he’s really not concerned with how rich we are, how many cars we have, how much power we have. He wants to change our hearts. The world views us outwardly, he views us inwardly.

And he makes me feel beautiful to no end. I hate when people look at Christianity like it’s silly or corrupt. Some Christians can be corrupt- but those that will really show you what Jesus is like make all the difference. I guarantee you’ll find a friend and a helper in him. Just trust him, and you will not be let down. Really.

God bless you all. 🙂

*Poetry Corner- Standing Still

Everybody flies through life
Here and there, given a challenge or suprise
One day we’re kids, hanging with friends
On the playground
Next thing we know, we’re off on our way,
College bound
And then we’re paying bills, on our own,
Working all year round
Thinking back and wishing for simpler times
When our only responsibility was to clean
Our room
And to get good grades
And now, those memories are far away
Like some faded dream
We wake up to having families
And places to go, a world to see
Next thing you know, our own kids are grown
Moving out, time for them to go
And all we can do is cry, wave goodbye
We think about love ones passing away
Knowing we’re getting up in age
Then we’re in the hospital, old and sick
Thinking about the legacy we’ll leave
But we’re the very last to realize
It’s the last day we’ll ever breathe
And all this time, we’ve flown through life
From little kids to old and ill
Wasting every opportunity to realize
That the whole time,
Jesus was standing still
Waiting to make life more than
Struggling for a pay check
From week to week
Waiting to take away our stress
And give us relief
He waited for our attention,
So he could slow our worlds down
And let us enjoy all the precious moments
The ones we forgot all about
He was waiting to make life
Go from oridnary to extra-orindary
If in the life that we flied through,
We would just take the time to see
His graceful face was waiting to make life
As supernatural as can be.
S l o w d o w n . Look at him. Let go. And breathe.

———–
I wrote this in bed one night. So often, we get caught up in our own little words and forget to notice Jesus. Time is flying by, but if we focus on him, he definately slows our worlds down and he gives us a fresher and better perspective of life. He adds relief when we are all stressed out; we don’t have to depend on ourselves so much because we learn to depend on him. He’s great. Just stop and pay attention.

The Healing Process, *Poem- Wilted Flower

A poem I wrote, just about healing, despite the pain of Lacey. I felt like crap, but I’m starting to heal.
I love writing poetry about healing.

Wilted Flower

Have you ever felt like a flower
Wilting and rotting
No nutrients in your soul
To help you grow
Where is the sunlight?
Sitting in darkness
Being crushed beneath the weight
But no one knows

But then there is the sound of rain
Pat, pat, patting on my head
And I feel so strong
Though I felt so dead
Broken heart and broken dreams
But I’ve learned to fly, despite broken wings
But I’ve learned to fight, despite growing weak
I’ve learned to smile, despite being taught to weep
In my dreams, I have a home somewhere
Somewhere in the garden, with the other beautiful flowers
No need to feel like a coward
And hide; I know I belong this time

I know I belong this time

——————
Just reflecting on my healing process. Read post below this to find out more. God bless you all. xxx Jennifer Clayton

Read more Flyleaf posts? Click here!

Poetry- Buried in the Dirt

I’ve been writing a lot of poetry for Jesus. It feels good to write how much I loooove him. =P I’m working on two books for him. One is a poetry book about how he has affected my life. The other is just my life and what makes me confident and the daily revelations I have. It’s supposed to inspire people, especially girls, and things in the bible that uplift my heart.

Well, here is a poem I wrote, for my inspiration book:

Buried in the Dirt

Kick dirt with my shoe
I pick up beautiful pieces of me
I find on the ground
Hidden by dirt
But I kick the dirt
And find the sparkling bits of truth

I cannot lie
My life agonizes every day
Over friendships and romance
And my God, I cannot count how many times
I’ve been hurt and stepped on
People punch, breaking pieces of my heart
And pieces of me get buried in dirt
Where I’m most often afraid
I’ll never find them again

But my savior Jesus takes my hand
And walks with me
Saying “look here and there”
And I’m reluctant to believe him
But when I kick up the dirt,
I see pieces of my heart,
My soul lying in the dirt
Sometimes I’m so afraid nothing will be there
If I look
That I close my eyes and cry
When he tells me where to look
But he kisses my cheek and wipes my tears
Taking my hand
And the shepherd leads one of his lost sheep
Calmly, gently, patiently,
To the spot I’m afraid to glance at
And he kisses my heart
And warms it where it’s cold
And he reaches down in the dirt
And picks up the sparkling piece of me

No, I don’t care what people say
He’s helped me pick up all the broken pieces
Of my heart
And put them together
I used to sit in the dirt alone
Thinking I’ll never be able to put myself
Back together again
Thinking I was eternally lost
But those days are gone

Jesus took my hand and loved my heart
Loved me just for who I am
And gave me enough hope to see
All the pieces of me were
Not lost forever
But simply buried beneath the dirt
That is
The weight of this broken world
———-
© Jennifer Clayton

I hope my books will really affect people. It’s a lot of work, but I think it’s worth it. My mom also writes book. Not Christian books, but like romance/suspense books. Her name is Debra Clayton, you can check her out here.

New Hugs Bible for Women, Bible Verses, Poem- Constantly Inspired

New Bible!

I bought this Hugs Bible for Women from Books a Million. It’s the first bible I’ve ever bought. The first one I really used was a free one from Newspring Church, but it felt good that out of love for Jesus, I was willing to buy one for myself.

It’s pink and girly and full of inspirational quotes. 😀 But of course, it’s not about how it looks, but only useful if I actually get into it and read it. And if it changes me in my heart.

Bible Verses

I also have a couple other books with a bunch of bible verses for different times in your life, like when you doubt yourself and trouble hits your life. It has sections that tell you about Jesus as being your savior, your friend, security, etc. It breaks the bible down into sections so you can find anything you need at any given moment.

One is called God’s Promises for Every Day. The other is called Daily Inspiration for the Purpose Driven Life.

I’ve learned that these kind of books really give me inspiration whenever I’m down. They really open my eyes to see that the bible truly is healing. I could be down in the dumps about to cry because someone made me mad, about boys, my mom.

I could be confused about God or upset with him. But when I read these bible verses, they always manage to touch my heart in a way that I need them to. They make me feel more secure in my faith, and make my problems seem smaller.

I love spending time with Jesus because when I feel His word in my heart, He feels close to me and more real to me. I know His word makes me stronger, too.

Speaking of inspiration, I wrote a poem awhile ago about how great it is.

Constantly Inspired

Inspiration is a flare of hope.
It is a bird singing in the morning,
Making one aware of the beautiful dawn of the new day.

Inspiration is hope in itself,
It is encouraging.
Inspiration is music in a person’s heart;
Giving them an upbeat rhythm
To hold on to all day long.
Inspiration is brighter than sunlight,
Wiser than… the wisest owls,
Haha.

Inspiration is a yes as opposed to 10,000 nos.
It is a hope versus 10,000 pessimisms.
It is a loving heart versus 10,000,000
Black holes,
That live drearily in this world.

Inspiration is morning dew dripping from leaves.
It pours into someone’s heart like a mesmerizing sunset.
Inspiration is a mesmerizing hope.
It keeps people witty, bright, and full of ideas
On how to make themselves feel better, be better, and constantly do better.
Inspiration is following an impulse to make a kind comment.
Inspiration stomps out the toughest, deadliest of criticisms
And remarks that one could ever stand.
Inspiration is a lion; it is king of the jungle.
Inspiration is like settled snow: calm and tranquil.
It lubricates the mind so that it might conceive sharp and brilliant in ideas,
I mean ideals.
Inspiration is feeling ice on the ground with one’s bare feet;
It is mesmerizing in feeling.
Inspiration is an awesome thing.

An inspiration is people making progress.
It is people learning to love one another,
For loving one another helps people love themselves more;
Yes, somehow, even more.
Inspiration is like fire, burning someone’s spirit inside;
Burning hope into it, and warmth and trust, and sincere concern.
Inspiration is perfection in a small way,
In a kind word on an otherwise horrid day.
It is beautiful
Like poetry.

Inspiration is a loving God in the midst of mankind,
Even as mankind shuns his heart and
His awesome, holy spirit.

Inspiration is a spark of perfection
In a dull world,
And inspiration heals and makes all well
In small and sometimes, incredibly subtle ways.
Inspiration thrives in the deepest crevices in my heart,
In my soul.

So hop to it, and get
Constantly inspired.

New Church, Poem-Skeletal Heart, Purity Ring

Instead of going to NewSpring like I used to, lately I’ve been going to this church at my highschool called Electric City Fellowship. It’s a lot smaller than NewSpring and has probably a little over a hundred people, as opposed to thousands at NS. Surprisingly, when I go to ECF, I feel a lot more connected to people and a lot more a part of the community, and I’ve only been there a handful of times.

 Newspring never made me feel close to as good as I feel at my new church. However, other people would say NewSpring is the best church they’ve ever been to.

So I realized that different churches are right for different people. With how large NS is, I felt like I was pressured to like it because so many other people do. It’s a good church, it just didn’t help me grow as much spiritually as ECF does.

I feel like it is perfect for my heart because I feel more like I belong and I feel more close to Jesus and over all happier. So no one church is right for every person. That’s why there are so many different styles of churches.

I think a person finds the ‘right’ church for them when they feel that they are really growing spiritually.

So I’m hoping to go to ECF this sunday. I have this envelope in my purse where I put the money I’m going to tithe, and I make sure I don’t use it for anything else. Tithing is so important to me because I want to make sure I’m not selfish.

 Ever since I started my first job, which is at Chick-fil-A, I’ve made sure to tithe 10% of what I make, because I want God to know that I’m not going to be selfish with my money- I’m going to let Him do whatever He wants to with it.

If I stopped tithing, I would feel like that money belongs to me instead of belonging to God. Since He asks for 10% I give it to show how much I love Him. To show that I’m willing to give Him all of my heart- which includes trusting Him with my money.

Tithing not only helps the church, it shows that you are committed to Jesus and willing to do what He asks; it’s a tangible way to show that you love Him. And I do! 🙂

This is a religious poem I wrote. I write so many of them, lol:

Skeletal Heart

Have you ever woken up
Lost inside yourself
Hoping to find
A way to a place
That would make you feel
Like life is worth living

Have you ever
Sat in a church with your friends
When someone says
“If this building falls
And kills us all
It’s okay because we’re all saved”
And felt afraid
Because you aren’t sure if you
Would make it to heaven anyway

Have you ever found yourself roaming
In place you didn’t belong
Or felt yourself running from something
All life long

In this place
Where life lasts only an instant
And then is gone
I close my eyes
And push these thoughts away

These aren’t the things
I want to remember
When I reminisce about life
Because what is life if you’re not living
All this time

Seeing through my skeletal eyes
Analyzing with my dead mind
Is it too late
Are these all the memories
I’ll ever see

Skeleton with a beating heart
Lying in the debris
If there is something better than this
Scratch open my eyes
To make me see
Send me a feeling
Bring me back to life
Give me my precious skin again
Make me a real girl
Where I can begin again
And I can know what it means
To be worth something

I’ll find a new place in this life
Where Jesus is not just a thought
But is a new way of living
Isn’t it interesting
That the dead can be brought back to life
How my deadness can be brought back to life
And how I can see through
Lively eyes

———————

My heart has been broken a lot lately. I tend to tear up once during the day, just because I get so sad. It’s because of boys/relationship problems that I have. The other day, I bought myself a silver purity ring, because Jesus wanted me to.

That night, I made the promise not to have sex until I am married. I feel fully committed to this promise. It won’t be easy, but deep down I really do plan on achieving this. I prayed for God’s help that I can do it. I’ll have to try to stay away from things that will tempt me to have sex.

I think it’s a really special thing you can do to show your love to God and your husband- I’m sure he’ll appreciate you waiting on him! And Jesus will appreciate you listening to Him, even when it’s difficult to.

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