Archive for Songs

New Song- “I Keep Dreaming”

On my knees
I sing a song
The words are right
But the feeling’s wrong
Another day
I’ve lost myself
But you reach in me
And break my shell

All these feelings
Echo of the wall
But you hear my screaming
Underneath it all
Your love grabs me
And knocks me down
You don’t speak now
But your presence is loud

Your heat burns
Through the feelings
It pierces me
And I start healing
Surrounding me
The warmth, it grows
Your perfect truth
Makes me explode

All these feelings
Echo of the wall
But you hear my screaming
Underneath it all
Your love grabs me
And knocks me down
You don’t speak now
But your presence is loud

This life is more than tying
Ugly truths together
With pretty lies
Stand with friends
In fears that we disguise
Wrap me in light
Expose the hurt inside
In all the darkness
Tell me what you find
Love divine moves across my mind
Makes me feel alive

Finally alive!
Finally alive!

Turn out the lights
And close my eyes
In the dark of night

On the edge of life
With drifting mind
And say goodnight

These are nightmares I keep dreaming
But you won’t let me keep sleeping
These are nightmares I keep dreaming
But you won’t let me keep sleeping

copyright Jennifer Clayton

Download- here
Youtube- here

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New Song- “Remember This”

A song I wrote about my grandma, who recently passed away from brain cancer. In my life, I like to take all things tragic and find something beautiful in them. I hated losing my grandma, but through it, God taught me to live life more urgently for Him.

I held you close
And kissed you forehead
And I said,
“I love you, goodbye”
Looking in your eyes
You looked at me
And said, “bye sweetie”

One wish
Please help me remember this
One kiss
To help me reminisce
Hold on to a moment of bliss
All of your happiness
Without the sickness
Please help me remember it

In the hospital
Looking out the window
The hours stretch on
I don’t want you to go
Bible in my hands
A prayer in my head
So many ‘I love you’s’
Left unsaid
Granny, my dear friend
Cancer steals you from my hand

One wish
Please help me remember this
One kiss
To help me reminisce
Hold on to a moment of bliss
All of your happiness
Without the sickness
Please help me remember it

We passed the pretty neighborhoods
Your neighbors seemed okay
But your grass was wild and crazy
House fading away
House of memories
With friends, good times with family
Daycare children ran happily
Summer camp in backyard fields of green
I remember your face
Remember your joy
My soul rings empty
For the sound of your voice

And I wish I could tell you
How much I love you
I saw His love
In the things you would do
There’s not always tomorrow
To share His grace
He only gives us this moment
Today

The day comes
Like a thief in the night
There is barely time
To say goodbye
We have only today
To live this life
To know His love
So we can be alive

One wish, please help me remember this
That His love surpasses all sickness

One wish, please help me remember this
That His love surpasses all sickness

I touched your soft hair
And kissed your forehead
I could guess
You have found your peace again

copyright Jennifer Clayton

Peace be with you, Granny. I love you.

New Song- “Released”, Updates!

Yay! I keep wondering how my love for Jesus will reflect in my actions, reflect in my music. I have written and recorded another song, called ‘Released’. It’s almost of good enough quality to post on YouTube! Lol just kidding.

Download & Listen

These are the lyrics:

High school memories
Remembering the times past
Always went unseen
An outcast to outcasts
They looked right by me
As I stood in back
My movie
Fades to black

Something is released
Deep within me
For all the world to see
It’s overcoming
All the bitter feelings
Of being left alone here
What sets me free?
Separating from the fear?
What helps me start healing?
His presence is so near

Oh yeah!

Eat or be eaten
Find your own way home
But he is leading
Me to where I belong
Heart bruised and bent
All full of holes
But his fingerprints
Are on my soul
Warmth melts cold resent
As love takes its toll

Something is released
Deep within me
For all the world to see
It’s overcoming
All the bitter feelings
Of being left alone here
What sets me free?
Separating from the fear?
What helps me start healing?
His presence is so near

He stood by me
When the world turned its back
His light shines bright
While the world goes black

Something is released
Deep within me
For all the world to see
It’s overcoming
All the bitter feelings
Of being left alone here
What sets me free?
Separating from the fear?
What helps me start healing?
His presence is so near

Oh yeah!
Oh yeah!
Oh yeah!

copyright Jennifer Clayton

Another thing! I am looking for a band to sing and play guitar in. I found this website where I can put up my information and my music and look for a band and bands can look for me. I am going to start talking to people, and get this dream on the road.

My book of poetry for Jesus, named ‘Atypical Jesus’, is well under way. I have been writing and editing and moving and changing and adding and reading and everything. I really am writing this book. I can’t wait to post some of the book on this blog. I can’t wait to get it published. I’M HYPER EXCITED!! 😀

Remember, living for God means dedicating your life to him, making him your priority, and making sure that what you are doing is for him. I am incorporating my love of music and poetry and blessing him, the way he has blessed me. Utilise your talents for him, and see what a difference you can make. Share your love of God with others! 🙂

New Song- “Scars”

I love writing songs! Here is another I wrote, called ‘Scars’:

They told me my cuts were earned
My bruises mine alone, clearly deserved
I collapsed under the weight of it all
No strength to hold on to avoid the fall
On the ground I gasped for breath
But every one hurt more than all the rest
Under the moon
Burning and sore
I gave up my self
Told God I’d trust him more
And in the cold of the night
His voice soothed my tears
He held my hand
As He watched my tears

No one pays attention to the girl covered in scars
But that night, I saw a shining star
And I felt all the hope in His eyes
Telling me not to believe their lies
Floating in peace
Touched my bruised skin
To heal me

My pen to paper could not take away the pain
I would always vent in vain
Try to take away all thoughts disturbed
He told me there’s no need to trust
The hollow words

The peace I seed through poetry
Never existed
And he let me see
That he’s the peace in me
I’ll never wake up
From sleeping in his arms tonight
To the nightmare of this world
Very much alive

No one pays attention to the girl covered in scars
But that night, I saw a shining star
And I felt all the hope in His eyes
Telling me not to believe their lies
Floating in peace
Touched my bruised skin
To heal me

Broken heart and broken dreams
Ripped away a part of me
The need to write, the need to bleed
But He patches the broken wings
A need to burn
A need to hurt
A scarring from their brutal words
But through their screaming, all I heard
Was Him telling me I’m free
That he loves me

copyright Jennifer Clayton

I have a recorded version of the song! I will continue practicing it, so it sounds better and better when I sing it. I want it to eventually be perfect!

Click here to download and listen to it!

The world made me feel worthless. Trusting God made me feel whole, really, for the first time in my life. No one paid attention to all my scars except Him. Everyone just saw pass them, assuming I was okay.

But I wasn’t.

New Song- “In Between Days”

I recently wrote a song:

In between days
We fall into blackness
Going different ways
Soaked in all the sadness
Within all the grey
We wait in the madness
We are the broken pieces
Broken hearts
Left to protect ourselves
Or be lost in the dark

But Lord, you embrace us all
Cushion our fall
My family loved me
But still I died yesterday
And in this fast world
All the friends I’ve made
Said I’d always belong
Surrounded by everything
But inside, I felt alone
And these bullets of cold words and disconnection
Always seemed to graze
My heart, where no one noticed how it stopped
In between days

I’d lie down for hours
Just to cry
Only God noticed
I was so empty inside
They claimed I’d be happy
By having things
The more stuff I had
The more I felt empty
It’s about a heart feeling
When no one noticed
I trusted God instead
Because He sees

And these bullets of cold words and disconnection
Always seemed to graze
My heart, where no one noticed how it stopped
In between days
In between days

Copyright Jennifer Clayton

Listen! Not perfect, but I finally recorded it. Yay! Tell me what you think:

In Between Days

This song is about how before I met Christ and trusted him, I used to be in this world, surrounded by stuff, but always feeling empty. In between the days, no one noticed how I was so broken up inside.

New Dean Guitar, Info on Purity Ring

New Song for Jesus!!

So! I finally got my electric guitar. I got a job at Chick-fil-A, mainly for this reason. I wanted to buy myself an electric guitar- it’s been my dream to play it and sing and write music. The guitar, with an amp, cost $426. I wanted my guitar because I wanted to write music for Jesus. I already have a keyboard and an accoustic guitar. Now I have an electric.

I’ve written God about 4 songs- 2 on keyboard, 1 on accoustic, and I’m working on one on elecetric. I already really love the song. I know God called me to spread the Gospel through music- so that’s what I plan to do. 🙂 I feel like I work so hard to please him. Even with school and work, I’m trying to make a lot of time for him. Anyway, I guess I’ll post the lyrics I have so far:

They told me my cuts were earned
My bruises mine alone, clearly deserved
I collapsed under the weight of it all
No strength to hold on, to avoid the fall
On the ground, I gasped for breath
But everyone one hurt more than the rest
Under the moon
Burning and sore
I gave up myself,
Told God I’d trust him more
And in the cold of the night
His voice soothed my fears
He held my hand
As he watched my tears

Noone pays attention to the girl covered in scars
But that night, I saw a shining star
And I felt all the hope in His eyes
Teling me not to believe their lies
Floating in peace
Touched my bruised skin
To heal me

My pen to paper could not take away the pain
I would always vent in vain
Try to take away all thoughts disturbed
He told me there’s no need to trust
The hollow words
The peace I seeked through poetry
Never existed
And he let me see
That he’s the peace in me
I’ll never wake up
From sleeping in his arms tonight
To the nightmare of this world
Very much alive

Noone pays attention to the girl covered in scars
But that night, I saw a shining star
And I felt all the hope in His eyes
Teling me not to believe their lies
Floating in peace
Touched my bruised skin
To heal me

Broken hearts and broken dreams
Ripped away a part of me
The need to write, the need to bleed
But he patches the broken wings
A need to burn
A need to hurt
And scarring from their brutal words
But through their sreaming, all I heard
Was him telling me I’m free
That he loves me

———————
Haven’t thought of a name yet. But it’s just about when Christ saved me; before he did, the world and all the crap that happened with friendships and family wrecked my heart. Everyone made me feel like I needed to hide and try to be “perfect”; I never seemed to belong. But him saving me rescued me from that humiliating existance. 🙂 That’s why he’s so amazing!

Info on Purity Ring
So in June, about 4 days after my birthday, I bought myself a purity ring. It’s been about three months since I bought it. I told myself I would reward myself for wearing it, and I decided to reward myself about every three months of wearing it. June, July, August, Semptember… it’s about time to reward myself. 🙂

I reward myself to encourage me to continue wearing it and to not give up. As of so far, I have not really struggled with it. I don’t think about it much; I look at it and I’m happy to wear it. I’m not tempted to have sex yet. In fact, I was talking to a friend of mine who said she had two purity rings before she was married. She said she could give me one of them. She inspires me because she didn’t quite wait ’til she was married, though she tried. However, she came very close; the first person she slept with was her fiance, who she is still married to.

There is a big difference between sleeping with 7 people before you get married, and sleeping with only one; the one you end up marrying. So wearing the ring will still help. In this sex-crazed world, some girls want to give up their virginity so fast. But they are so precious and so is their virginity; any guy worth time is willing to wait. That shows that he respects you and loves you. I feel so beautiful wearing my ring, I thank God for it. I feel innocent and pure.

You don’t even have to be a virgin to wear one. If you already had sex but decide that you changed your mine and you want to save it for your husband, you can wear one. You can mess up bad and still wear one, because you are still valuable regardless of what you have done. It’s truly about what you decide to do. Jesus knows you are valuable no matter what you have done or who you have slept with. He will accept you just the way you are. He is always forgiving. 🙂

I encourge all girls to get one, and I encourage guys to respect their women and try to wait for them. They will really appreciate it. Heck- even guys can wear them! I’m not quite sure how I’ll reward myself- go out somewhere, buy something I want, I don’t know. But I’m praying God will keep me pure and faithful to my promise to wait. I’m trying to love Jesus by waiting because he loves me. I want to do something sweet and heartfelt for him.

Wearing one will really make you feel beautiful and worth something. Good luck, everyone!! You’re all truly special. 🙂

Purity Ring, Song- “Reaching Towards the Sky”

So. I’ve been wearing my purity ring for awhile now. Since June 26, 2010. I’ve decided to reward myself for every 3 months that I wear it. It’s been 1 month. Woohoo! It’s hard to think that I can do it sometimes, but after a few weeks of wearing it, I felt actually perfect in my heart. Like I deserve to wait, because I deserve the reward of having a special bond with my husband that most people won’t ever have- he’ll take my virginity.

Even if I mess up a few times before I’m married, it will only be a few times and the bond will still feel special, instead of other people who will have done it dozens and dozens of times before they get married. It takes away a specialness from it. I feel like doing this is perfect. Every girl should save herself for marriage, regardless of is she wears a ring or not.

The perfect guy is the one who is willing to wait. He won’t rush you or pressure you or say “show me you love me by having sex with me”. That’s a load of crap. The perfect guy will think you are well worth the wait, even if it’s a long time. Jesus wants everyone to wait ’til marriage, because it’s so much more special that way. 😀

Anyhoo, I write music.
My song “Reaching Towards the Sky” I wrote for Jesus, on keyboard.

I can’t put together
A million pieces to the puzzle
Of my heart
Up in the sky, there lies my star
Losing light, fading to dark
Fading into blackness
It’s hopeless,
The things of this world
Aren’t enough
To keep me alive
Give my star back it’s shine

Reaching towards the sky, reaching for your hand
Sometimes it’s worth just taking the chance
Heart racing, pumping my blood
Seeping through my veins is all of your love

In the midst of all the dark
You whisper to my heart
That after all the pain drains away
Your truth remains everyday
To give me strength, to make me calm
To lift me up whenever I fall
The love in your heart keeps me warm
Whenever I’m lost in the storm
When this life breaks me into pieces
One by one, you put me back together
Now I am yours to keep
Forever, Jesus

Reaching towards the sky, reaching for your hand
Sometimes it’s worth just taking the chance
Heart racing, pumping my blood
Seeping through my veins is all of your love

I feel me walking on broken glass
When I’m overwhelmed by trouble in this life
I won’t stop even when I’m bleeding
Because you heal me inside
I heard the atheist say
My fairy tale God wasn’t real
But until I met God one day
I’ve never been able to feel
This alive
I won’t apologize
For loving the one who has always loved me most
My star shines again, my pulse throbs with his hope

Reaching towards the sky, reaching for your hand
Sometimes it’s worth just taking the chance
Heart racing, pumping my blood
Seeping through my veins is all of your love

Tithing, Switchfoot, Songs for Jesus

So I went to Electric City Fellowship for church. Used to go to Newspring but.. I had my own personal issues. Both are good churches. I’m only 18, and I got a job at Chick-fil-A. I’ve been tithing ever since I’ve had the job. One Sunday, I was going to tithe 50 bucks because I hadn’t been in church in awhile and I was saving up my tithes.

I don’t just forget about them. It’s importatnt to Jesus, it’s important to me. But when I pulled out 50 bucks, I was so excited and so happy in my heart and so in love with Jesus, just being at church I gave like 62 bucks and had to keep myself from giving more. I don’t make very much- maybe 200 dollars a month. But I don’t care.

Heck, I’m living to serve God. My heart and soul belong to him, so my money is his money. All I’ve ever wanted to do in life is give back to God in a big way, since he gives to us in a big way. Jesus went up and beyond to save us, giving us everything by saving us from sin when he died on the cross for us.

So I want to go up and beyond for him. Whenever I do the bare minimum for him, I have to go up and beyond. He gives so much, so I refuse to be selfish in any and every way possible. I wish I was rich just to give away my money for him. Doing whatever he asked me to do with it, to change the world.

But ECF moves me. I love this church. Love the community. Good luck, Jonathan. 😀 I give my money to ECF because it’s a much smaller church and they don’t even have a building anymore. They could really use it. Newspring has thousands of members and they have a ton of money, and have all the equipment and everything they could need. I just want to give to who needs it more despirately.

The song I wrote to God, “Mile After Mile”, I finally wrote the music to it. And I sing it to God.I learned an awesome Switchfoot song called “Let that Be Enough.”

It’s so easy to play on guitar, and it’s about faith in God. I sing that to God also.

I’m writing Jesus another song on guitar. I have the lyrics, and I’m working on the music. I also wrote him 2 songs on the keyboard. One called “The Candle’s Flame”, the other called “Reaching Towards the Sky”.

This is why I want to be a rockstar! Lol I’ve always wanted to sing for God. Hopefully, when I’m really good at singing/playing the songs, I’ll post them on youtube and motivate more people to pay attention to God. 😀 He’s amazing!

Lyrics for “The Candle’s Flame”:

He asked me to sing
My song to him
It makes him happy
The melody
Sweetly
Pours out of me
Rushing out like
Frenzied waterfalls
Singing to his heart is
No problem at all

Chorus:
The candle’s flame
Flickers forever
In my heart
But without faith
Everything sits in an
Eerie dark
His love ignites me
And creats the candles spark
Which creates my faith
Which is the candle’s flame

Love is doing things selflessly
For those you care about
And those who love want to be loved
And I know, I know
That he loves everyone
So we should put him above
Everything else in this life
I feel him around me, I dance in his light

Chorus:
The candle’s flame
Flickers forever
In my heart
But without faith
Everything sits in an
Eerie dark
His love ignites me
And creates the candles spark
Which creates my faith
Which is the candle’s flame

Dancing forever here
Following Christ
His road is the only one
That leads to life
I’m taking this road
I’m strong than this world
In my soul
He paved the way to freedom
Paved it gold

Metamorphasis
The caterpillar in me
Ready for transformation
A butterfly to be free
Free in spirit, free in this life
Free for all eternity
…………….

I’ll post the other song later. 😛

College, Mile After Mile

On June 4, I graduated from T.L. Hanna High school. I was so proud to be standing up there, after working through 12 years of school, I was finally rewarded for it. Nothing really feels better than working on something forever and then seeing the work pay off.

This is a very new and important time in my life, and I want to make sure I leave it in God’s hands. He knows where I need to go and how I should get there, even before I really do. A good father looks after his children, so I’m going to pray to him and listen to him. Wherever he tells me to go, whatever he tells me to do, I’m going to try to obey.

One important thing I’ve learned from God is that just by being obedient to what he says, my life will turn out best. Doesn’t mean it will be easy, but it means that eventually my life will be more rich and fulfilling than it could ever be otherwise. It’s true!

So what are my plans now?
I’m going to Anderson University, which is a Christian school. God put it in my heart that later in life, I’m going to preach, so I know I can take classes there that will teach me how to do that. So I’m listening to God.

AU is also a liberal arts school, and I know that I want to play music early in life, and I’m going to pursue that also. Jesus has also let me know that that is fine. So I’m happy that I’ll be listening to God and doing what I want. Nothing better than that.

I believe I’m going to try to steer clear of boys for awhile. I’ve recently learned that it may seem really fun going to a relationship at first, but sometimes it’s just not worth it. If you go out with someone and break up soon after that, sometimes the heartache is just too much. And my heart is in a very fragile place right now, and feels easy to break.

I think God thinks it’s best if I stay away from them for awhile. I know he’s got big plans for me when it comes to this area in my life, because I trust him with it. I just don’t think that the time is now.

The reason I trust Jesus with this is simply because he knows what is best for my heart, and so he knows who is best for my heart. He knows just the kind of person I need. Who I think I need may not be the one for me. But he knows who I need better than I do, so he can lead me to them.

I’ve spent a lot of time drawing lately, and a lot of time practicing playing the keyboard. One of my passions is music and art, so I work hard at them. Basically, I’m trying to put my future in Jesus’s hands. I will admit it can be a struggle trusting him.

But after I get over the fear, he makes me feel good that I did trust. 🙂 You should pray to him and try to put your life in his hands. I guarantee, your life couldn’t be better any other way.

Here is a song I wrote about me walking close with Jesus. He leads me and I will follow where he goes.

‘Mile After Mile’

My friend
You and I
Barefoot in the sand
A smile spreads across my face
Carry me to the other side
Of this empty place
People have perished here
I depend on you
It’s true
That it’s okay if it takes awhile
Carry me mile after mile

Walk with me through a desolate land
Take hold of my hand
I’m held still by faith
And in this empty place
I have no fear
Now that you’re here
Filling me with hope
When the world leaves me alone
People are afraid of this place
But because of your grace
I’m not afraid to talk with you
And walk with you
To the other side
I’m not afraid to dance with ou
Take a chance with you
‘Cause we will survive

Open me up inside
Capture my heart
There’s nothing like trusting you
In a world that’s hesitating
There’s nothing like breathing
While everyone’s suffocating
You are the song in my heart
And the bravery in every step I take
To get across this empty place

What more could I need?
Jesus, you are the best friend
I’ve ever known of
I know there is such strength
In your love

I get the feeling that
I can survive
Can I talk with you
And walk with you
To the other side?
Can I stay with you
And pray to you
That I will survive?

———————
So I’ll try to stay close to Jesus as I explore this new and exciting area of my life. If you learn to trust him in any area of your life, you can see how much he can help you.