Archive for Selflessness

Anger and Bitterness part 5- Suffering in the World

A lot of people are bitter with God because of the suffering in the world. “How could a loving God be so cruel?” They might say. They have good reason to wonder. But I feel many people are misguided in the conclusions they come to.

It doesn’t mean God is a horrible father- but you only understand my point of view when you begin to understand why people suffer in the world in the first place.

Well, some countries really prosper, while others struggle. In some countries, like in my country, the US, people have jobs (for the most part), have nice houses, cars, money, and they can live the life they want (again, for the most part). If someone wants to go to school, they can go to school. We don’t worry about racism and prejudices nearly as much as we used to, we have a government that listens to the voice of people, and tries to treat everyone fairly.

In other countries, children starve to death, families suffer from diseases, don’t have homes, and embrace absolute poverty. There is danger all around, and people really don’t know what to do.

This is where some people get angry, hating God because of the suffering. Well, as sinful creatures, we are naturally selfish. We want what is best for us, even if it costs others. It’s not that we don’t actually want to help, but more so the fact that we get so wrapped up in our own busy lives, we forget to notice how much we already have, and how little others have.

As Christians, God gives us the awesome responsibility to reach the world. In a world that can often lack sympathy and love, we are supposed to share sympathy and love. We are called to shine brighter than the world, and draw people in with our integrity and our genuine care for the well-beings of others. This is so they will look at God and see the love in him. What we do and how we live reflects on God. Yes, we are supposed to speak God’s word, but we are also actively supposed to live out those truths: giving to the poor, helping those in need, offering a heart to someone who is feeling empty, offer a shoulder to cry on, offer hope to someone with no hope or joy.

Ultimately, it is our job as Christians to take on the hurt in the world. Yes, that is a huge responsibility, but we can start off small, just by merely paying more attention to others, being kinder, etc. And then we start to do more and more for the Lord.

My point, people, is this. When people want to act like God is the blame for everything, when they want to act like he is unloving and uncaring- this is all a big fat lie! God is a father, and we are all his children. A father can’t stand when there child is lost or suffering, so as a father, he loves us very, very much, and cares for our needs. The problems is that his people are slacking off, and not doing their job completely. God changes the world through his people, and if his people are too greedy and selfish to care for others, it will look as though God is heartless. We have to be very careful what we do, because like I said, what we do reflects on God, and we really, really don’t want to give others the wrong impression.

We can get rid of the bitterness in some people’s hearts and give them more faith in God if we live the lives we are supposed to live. As the quote goes, we have to be the change we want to see in the world. So be the change! Be the hope! Be the love! There is so much anger and bitterness we can erase.

Valentine’s Day Love

My friend Kayla and I did something very special for valentine’s Day. We bought all different kinds of flowers and a bunch of vases. We had about 41 vases, and decorated each vase with a curly ribbon. Then we put 3 flowers in each vase. We went to a nursing home and handed them out to the people there. There were only about 30 old people, and then workers. So we handed them out to the elderly. It was so incredible, watching their faces light up, and listening to them talk about how pretty the flowers were and how it made them feel happy and special.

The flowers were expensive, and no one told us to do it, we just decided to on our own. We had also made Valentine’s cards- Kayle made about 12 and I made 8 and sent them to people at Hospice. We put things in them like “someone cares, stay strong, Jesus loves you.” We also gave them the rest of the flowers we had left. There were 16 people living in Hospice, so we had plenty. 🙂

We weren’t allowed to go into the rooms to hand them out like we did at the nursing home because of the rules, but the lady at the front desk told us she would certainly hand them out for us. We wanted people to feel special, feel loved, know we care, that Jesus cares. If there were more Christians who could be selfless and love other people like Jesus loves, this world would be a better place. There would be less broken hearts, less pain, more people falling in love with Christ and the freedom and redemption and hope he offers.

A big problem is that there are lots of greedy Christians who are focused on themselves, and only care about what God has to offer them. That prevents God’s love from reaching people, the people who truly need his love most: the down-trodden, the weak, those left behind.

This is a reason Christ is so grounded in humility and so strongly desires to see it in us. It’s because being humble and selfless allows us to stop obsessing about ourselves and all the things we ‘need’ and don’t have, and allows us to take care of people who truly have need. Christ did not say “No, I’m not going to die for anyone, I want to live my life and be happy”; he did not refuse to die for us. He humbly accepted his fate, even though it meant he would suffer. He put someone else above his self.

“When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

“Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:26-29

Jesus was perfect, deserved everything, and he was not self-centered. He placed other people above himself, event though it caused him pain. That’s because we needed him desperately. We are supposed to be like him, put others before ourselves, because others need us- and Christ through us- desperately.

I don’t want people walking around thinking Christians are hypocrites and liars, and that they try to act good but they are actually heartless. I want them to feel love and compassion and hope, I want them to see how headstrong we are in changing the world. That is who we are meant to be. But we have to be Christlike in the way we live, doing for others before we do for ourselves. That is how the world may know him, through us. This is the truth they were meant to see.

Dying to Our Sinful Self

“And for the next ten minutes, I described to him, as best I knew how, the paradox of following Jesus and finding life by giving it away. That when I died to my sin and selfishness by the power of the gospel, I became alive in a much more real way. And because I had experienced the death of my old self, my new self was really alive, like hyper-alive. I was now willing to die for the gospel, but also was willing, and indeed was literally, living for the gospel. And that every day of living for Christ was allowing me to become ‘deader and deader’ to the way I used to be before I was saved from my sins.” Dying to Live, by Clayton King

Dying to live. It’s a strange paradox that I am learning to embrace, just like Clayton King. When we follow Jesus, we have to put ourselves aside, so that Jesus can lead our lives, instead of leading our own lives. We have to gradually learn to put aside the things we want, so that Jesus can achieve the things that he wants for us, instead. We die to sin and selfishness, die to our small dreams and small goals, and we let God take over. He pushes away our selfish wants, and replaces them with his supernatural goals and plans.

I find that the more I let him take control over my life, the more free and powerful I feel. Contrary to how it may seem, when I trust in God to lead me in all the various areas of my life, I don’t feel like I am going crazy because of the smaller amount of control and power I have. I actually feel I have more control over my life than ever before. That’s mainly because before I gave my life to Jesus and let him lead me, my life was always chaotic; I never had enough strength to keep me grounded, and so I constantly drifted in this sea of confusion.

When I let him lead me, he armed me with his strength and his love and his hope. I felt more secure, in that I knew I could handle all the difficult things in this life as long as I trusted him (that certainly doesn’t mean it will be easy, though). I felt protected, and that even when I didn’t know where God was leading me, I could trust him to get me whereever he wanted me to be.

I’d like to be very careful and delicate with my words, though. Trusting him doesn’t mean it frees your life from chaos, insecurity, fear, panic, etc. I constantly feel those things, even with him. He is always leading me some place, and I am not sure of where we are going, or sure of what we will do when we get there. But the difference is that without him, I am just surrounded by chaos, drenched in fear, without any real hope. With him, I still am surrounded by chaos, it’s just now I have hope that I can survive it, because I depend on his strength. Knowing that I always have that sense of peace in the back of my mind, despite what happens to me, always has a way of keeping me sane when I start to lose it.

Anyway, back to the point. God is perfect, glorious, holy, mighty, awesome. We are imperfect, flawed, sinful. Our human nature will always cause us to be greedy, selfish, wanting things that only benefit us. When we are saved, the Holy Spirit comes and lives within us. It begins to do a good work in us, making us more and more like Christ in our hearts. Without the Holy Spirit guiding us, everything we do would cause us to sin, and ultimately lead to death and destruction. We would end up living very unfulfilling lives, missing out on the good blessings God has in store for us.

But when the Holy Spirit lives in us, we are at war against our sinful self, and we have to fight that battle every day, never giving up. We always have 2 options: Do what God wants us to do, or do what our sinful self wants to do. Do we spend the morning reading the bible and spending time with God, or do we be lazy and lay around watching TV? A friend calls with a problem. Do we tell them what they want to here, or refer to the bible and tell them how you think God would want them to respond, through the bible? It’s Sunday. Do we skip church again or force ourselves to get out of bed and spend the morning worshipping Jesus? Our sinful self or our Godly self?

We have choices all around us, and we have to make these decisions all the time. We must continually choose to listen to our Godly self, and die more to our sinful self. It is not something that happens over night; it takes a life time, committing to putting ourselves aside for God on the daily basis.

The more we die to our sinful old self, the way we were before we met Christ, the more we start living for Him. We get to really live, and not just exist. We get to feel super alive and passionate for God. It’s like you used to walk through the days with your eyes closed, sleeping all your life. Now you are awake and you get to live! We die to our old selves to live for Christ. We are dying to live!

*Poetry Corner- “Ego”, greed

Ego

If there’s not time today
There will never be time

How come we’re the richest
Acting like we’re poorest?
Our egos are the biggest
And the sorest

Won’t open up our wallets
Because we are afraid
Having EVERYTHING is not enough
To make a change

How come we’re the richest
Acting like we’re poorest?
Our egos are the biggest
And the sorest

And the acidic greed inside our hearts
Burns away at our souls
Devouring everything it sees, it feeds
Until all that’s left are holes

Some people have what’s very small
Some have nothing at all
Very few are filthy rich like us
Have EVERYTHING and not enough
People suffer
And we wanna see change
But we ourselves are the problem
Standing in the way!

Making the world feel small
We have to have it all
And the bigger we are
The harder we fall
Why is the world
Callous and unfair?
‘Cause we don’t see greed in the mirror
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there

If times are hard today,
They will never be easy
If there’s no money today
There will never be enough money

Can’t set broken hearts free
Starving and empty
While our endless greed
Only feeds and feeds
Can’t look them in the eyes
And see all their pain
If we keep living only for us
Then there will never be change

How come we’re the richest
Acting like w’re poorest?
Our egos are the biggest
And the sorest

-Jennifer Clayton
—————————-
I get so frustrated with countries like America. It’s not just us, but we definitely are super guilty of this. We hit hard times, like when the economy is going crazy and we’re afraid we will lose our jobs and houses and everything. But even at our worse, we are so much better off than other countries. Billions of people around the world live off less than $2 a day. And we are upset? I guarantee those people would take living in our difficult economy any day over living the way they live. At our worse, we are living better than most of the world. Our worse is better than their best.

Perry Noble once said that “only in America can you be obese and poor at the same time.” And he’s so right! People act like they broke, but they still have means of getting the things they need. I recognize that even when times are hard here, it doesn’t change the fact that we are born with silver spoons in our mouths. Perry also was talking about how we have storage houses for our cars. People in other countries could live with their whole family in one of our car garages. We have houses and then houses for our cars.

Only in America will we complain about how hard times are getting, and then you still see all these commercials about getting your dogs the best food and grooming them and treating them like they are just like people. It’s like, “yeah, these are hard times, but we still somehow have money for this stuff” It’s ridiculous! We’re struggling but we can take care of ourselves and our pets… when people in others places don’t have anything to feed their families, and they wouldn’t even think about pets!

We get so blinded by how much stuff we have. The poem is saying that we have big and sore egos. They are big because we constantly want more and more stuff, and sore because we sit and complain about everything we don’t have, even though we have everything. “If there’s no money today, there will never be enough money” means that if we have so much stuff, but still can’t find it in our hearts to give, because we feel that we don’t have enough, then we will never find it in our hearts to give.

There won’t be enough for everyone if we only want more. There will only ever be enough for everyone if we realize that we do have everything, and others desperately need our help and our generosity, so that they can survive, too.

This is why we need humility. Why Christ calls us to be humble and to give to the poor.

“But God gives us even more grace, as the Scripture says, ‘God is against the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.'” James 4:6

“Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’” Matthew 19:21

Humility and serving others gets rid of our blindness, pushes away our greed. And this is what we need. Loving people like this by giving and serving shows the world that Christ is real, because acts such as these truly show how he loves. When we are greedy, nobody can see Christ in us. People think we are liars and fake. Don’t put on an act. Get out there and do your job, show genuine love, and I guarantee people will change, and ultimately the world will change.

Paradox: Become Greater By Becoming Less

We, as human beings, want to be treated like we are the greatest people ever. In our own sinful, selfish nature, we naturally want to put ourselves before others, be taken care of first, put everyone else second. We say “my life is about ME, ME, ME.” In our walk with Christ, our own evil heart wants to be the center of attention, we want to make decisions for OUR lives, we don’t want Jesus to make them for us. WE want to lead. WE always have the answers.

But that’s an interesting paradox when it comes to living for Jesus:

“Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 10:26-28

We must put ourselves last to become first. To Christ, humility shows much greater strength and deserves much more honor than pride does. A proud man in God’s sight is a wicked man, he is about himself, not concerned with the wellbeing of others, so long as he gets what he desires.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:3-11

So essentially, because Christ, who in his nature is God, decided to humble himself and be a servant and serve others, rather than trying to be equal with God the Father, God made him the greatest person, ruling over all the others. Because of his complete humility and obedience and willingness to be beneath others, God honored him and gave him glory and gave him everything.

Strange paradox, but true. When we fight the desire in our heart to be first, and instead truly desire to serve others, help them when they are in need, show them how to live upright lives for God, and take care of their needs before we worry about our own, God will take care of us. When we make ourselves like nothing, we will bring him glory and he will honor us, and we will be the most blessed.

It’s because God admires humility so much. When we put others first, he puts us first. He loves humility because when we are humble, he really gets to be in charge of our lives, and we help others more, love others more, are more compassionate, caring, and we can change the world with such love. Humility means we stop being arrogant and recognize that others have needs, too. We serve others, and these other people we serve are God’s children, and he sees how we help them. To become great in God’s sight, we have to become less. We have to be second, instead of being first.

“Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 18:12

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’” 1 Peter 5:5

Jesus was abused, cursed at, spit on, died on a cross for us. He was obedient to his father to the point of death. He could have called angels to kill all the people who hurt him, who caused him nothing but pain and misery. He is God! But he did not. He loved them, he still prayed for them, still died for them. Humility. Serving others. Obedient. And God sees his son denying himself for the sake of others, and now Jesus is the greatest one ever, and it is impossible to get to heaven with out him. He is the greatest one in our lives, the most important, most significant.

When you want a position like that, and you aim for that, being proud and depending on yourself and being all about yourself, trying to exalt yourself, God makes you last and the least among men, and you will never achieve such greatness.

A lot of people don’t understand the paradox. When others are trying to make their names great, they get caught up in sin and really aren’t great. When I am trying to make Jesus’s name great, and I am serving others for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, he sees that, and I will achieve more than the selfish person.

Embrace the paradox. Or face the frustration of constantly trying to succeed and only finding failure. Make Jesus’s name greater. When it comes to yourself, become less.

Don’t Talk the Talk, Walk the Walk!!

It breaks my heart to know that some people think that if they just believe in Jesus, just believe in God, they are doing enough. But it is not just enough to say you believe. When people doubt my faith in Christ, I don’t like to sit there and argue with them. I could argue about my faith all day, win an argument, but by my actions, show that I was lying and that my faith was false.

Like I could convince someone I was sweet and loving and giving, but never give a dime to anyone, never offer help to anyone who needed it, and just be incredibly selfish. Yeah, I won the argument, but that didn’t mean anything.

The same is true with faith in Christ. Anyone can discuss all day how good a Christian they are, but if they say that, and then never do anything to prove that their faith is as great as they claim it is, then as far as I am concerned, their faith is dead.

One thing I learned about being a true Christian, with a truly changed heart for Christ, is that if you love him and have really accepted him as Lord and Savior of your life, putting him first and putting yourself second, you will yearn to do things for him.

Like when you love your husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend, you want to do whatever you can in your own power to make them as happy as possible. You want to buy them gifts and do what they say and shower them with love. Well, Christ is the same way. I know in my life, I love him with every ounce of love in me, and so I constantly desire to pray more, and help others more, and write more about him to affect more people, and to give money in his name, and to trust him, etc.

My actions show that I love him. I work, I go to church and tithe, I sing about him in my music, I draw him in my art, I write about him in my poetry. In doing everything I love to do, I try to make sure he is a part of it. Because I live to glorify him and make his name famous, not mine.

When people question my faith, I don’t argue because I don’t like to talk the talk, I like to walk the walk. By walking and walk, and doing what God tells me to do, people will see what I do and there will be no need to argue. They will see I am truly faithful to God and my faith will affect them in a positive way.

“If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, ‘You have faith; I have deeds.’

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.” James 2:16-18

Faith without works is dead. If you truly believe the message of Christ, and do nothing, how will other people truly believe? Someone had to act to reach out to you, so you could be touched and changed in your heart by the message of the Gospel. They had to ignore doing other things they wanted to do and focus on doing what God wanted them to do, and that was to act on his behalf. And by acting, they introduced many people to Christ, and many people had their lives changed.

To say you believe in Jesus, and then not tell a soul about it or live the way he tells us to, means you are a deadbeat in the body of Christ. If I go out and preach and write more about the powerful turth of the Gospel, more people will change.

I feel like, if we don’t do anything for Christ through our actions, we are just a story in a book, we are just pictures on a page, flat and 2-dimensional. But by committing the words of God to our heart and letting that eventually transform into what we do and how we live, we are no longer a 2-dimensional story, but we are alive..

like instead of watching a movie on a flat screen, we become a live play on a stage, living a life devoted to Jesus on it. The difference between a movie and a play? A story in a book and real life? One is a lot more real, a lot more genuine, personal, reaches people a lot more effectively.

We shouldn’t let the world see us as hypocrites. We should practice what we preach, so when people say crap about us, it won’t be true. We, as the church, should sparkle and shine as the bride of Christ with no blemish, no defect. People should see us and not think we are a bunch of hypocrites and liars, but think, ‘wow, this is an amazing group of loving people with hearts for God, and I want to be a part of it’.

Practice what you preach! Commit the words of the Lord to your heart, and let that transform how you live your life. 🙂

What do I think Jesus wants his followers to do?

Pray; trust him; be obedient; listen to everything he says; love unconditionally, him and everyone else, with every ounce of love in our hearts.

Work hard in his name- meaning in everything we do, we should do it in the name of Christ. Commit to excellence for him, in everything we do, so people will see us and should be blown away with how awesome he is. He wants us to give, be selfless, be humble, be involved with our Christian family, inspring each other.

Always, always, always find ways to improve as a Christian, trust ourselves less and trust him more, never give up, never lose heart, depend on his strength to get us through literally anything and everything. Never get tired of working hard. Hold tight onto the faith. Show our faith is true through our actions!

I’ll admit, I don’t pray nearly enough, I get tired and don’t feel like doing it. I get sick of people from time to time, not feeling like showing them the love I am supposed to show them. But Christ has called us to action. So I will grow from my weakness, and let my actions prove my faith, not my words.

God bless, Jennifer

*Poetry Corner- “Wrapped Up in Chains”

Wrapped Up in Chains

So much pain,
I can’t feel
Anything at all
Lord, I did not give you half of my heart
I swore I’d give it all
And so I gave it all

Even with you Lord, I fall hard to the ground
And in chains, forever I’m bound
And I scream in the pain
But internally, I pace myself
And I constantly reflect on
The love in your heart
And even as I hurt, I’m okay
Your mercy, your power, your glory,
Hardwired in my brain,
Excuse me-
I mean, hardwired in my heart

And I stand in the flames
Wrapped up in your chains
And head strong, I move on
If I’m in pain, I’ll resist running away
As long as it brings glory to you
Will it make you happy?
Then I’ll fight my way through
Whether I live or die,
I’ll stand by your side
This world cannot shake the love
I have gained in you
Each bullet in my soul,
I’ll take it for you
At the end of the day
When I’m burning, sitting on the pain
I am running this race
And I will pace myself
So I can make it through
Forgetting myself,
I’m living this life for you

You sacrificed yourself for my freedom
And as a Christian, I cannot live without sacrifice
You were in pain so spiritually, I could survive
And to say following you is easy
Is nothing but a lie
But it’s certainly worth a try
And the preachers preach and they preach
But if they tell everyone this is easy
It is a lie
But I know the grace I’ve recieved
And so I will try
Running this race
Face to face with the pain,
Wearing your name
By carrying chains

But I won’t fall over dead in my heart
This pain is nothing compared to the
Freedom you’ve given me
And I will pace myself
Until I pass the finish line
And I can look you in the eyes
Be by your side
In Heaven

And you laid down your life for mine
As a Christian, I can’t live without self-sacrifice
I’ll see you in heaven when I cross the finish line
Because you are well worth the race, worth the fight

—————————

copyright Jennifer Clayton

I wanted to write a poem about how following Christ isn’t easy, but it is soooo worth the fight. The reward in heaven, the love, the strength.. freakin’ amazing. To be able to stand out in this world as something different, have self-respect, to live for something bigger than you.. to have a purpose, to know the direction you are going in life, to have something to ground you in the midst of all the craziness, to have a relationship when you are lonely… nice.

But it’s not easy. It’s hard work, sacrificing the things I want to live for Christ. I have to lay down my desires and pick up his desires. Carry my cross. But I truly don’t mind. It’s nothing compared to the hell I used to live in before him. Being in pain for him doesn’t hurt nearly as much as having fun without him.. seriously! We have to learn to let him lead us. It is hard, since we are such individualistic people, who want to be independent and go after our goals and make ourselves bigger. But everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss…

Relationship Trouble vs. Christ

LOL I’m not going to lie. I am not a perfect person (What- you thought I was!?!) I have flaws. I am often so reluctant to reveal my weaknesses because I feel people will judge me or misunderstand me. I fear people will get really mad at me or blame me or call me names. But I will humble myself. God uses our weaknesses for his glory, because in whatever area in our life we are weak, we find strength in him:

“But he [the Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

God likes this because then we are more forced to depend on him when we are weak. So I will give God the glory in my constant weakness. Here is one of them: romantic relationships are the death of me. Like boyfriends and girlfriends, marrage, etc. I spend so much time alone and I feel the constant need for this sort of companionsship. I see babies and moms together and I get sad. I see Lacey Mosley and her husband and my heart breaks. I wince at the thought of weddings because I am lonely. It’s not that I’m afraid to pursue a relationship, it’s just that I feel God calling me in a different direction now.

I’m not entirely sure where, I’m not entirely sure what to do. But in ways, I feel like I just shouldn’t go after a relaitonship now. And I get angry at God because he does not want me to be like everyone else. I want to be in love, and I feel like I am watching half of my life just pass me by. I scream at him and constantly want to push away from him- it’s not pretty, but it’s true.

At the same time, I’m not willing to compromise our entire relationship because my feelings are really hurt. If he did that to us, every time we really hurt his feelings, I gurarantee he would dump us every day. So it’s not fair I do this to him. What do I do, then?

First, I pray that he will give me peace. I pray that even while in pain, he will comfort my heart and give me the strength to not be angry. The bible says:

“My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants.”James 1:19-20

“Don’t get angry. Don’t be upset; it only leads to trouble.” Psalm 37:8

I know the above quotes are true because when I get angry and find myself yelling at God over and over, I stop and think about it. After doing it multiple times, I never feel any better.I feel like it’s worthless and stupid to yell. I only feel more anger and no peace. I feel like my heart is gross for ever doing such a thing. Who am I to yell at God? The point is that anger only leads me to be more angry. God is consistantly opening my eyes to show me that being peaceful leadsd to more peace.

It’s true for everything in life. For example, I work at Chick-fil-A and I get paid every 2 weeks. I want clothes and shoes and guitars and art supplies and books, etc. But mostly, I deny myself of these things. Being completely selfish and only indulging in pleasing myself with all of my money would be completely selfish. No one else would benefit from it. Then I would start to be like this in all areas of my life- selfish of my time and engery, only wanting to please me.

But I do the opposite with my money- titheing more than 10%, making gifts for kids and sending them around the world, knowing they will come to know about the love of Christ in the process, I’m donating to charities that also spead the Gospel, buying things that will help me spend more time with Jesus. And this is because I am loving others like Christ loved me. He loved me and rescued my sould and life from destruction, and took away my pain.

The love was very real, and I am dedicated to making that love real to others. When they recieve the gifts, they will also feel loved because of Chirst, and then tell others about the love. So this is proof that love causes more love, selflessness and compassion beget selflessness and compassion. Anger begets anger. So I am trying to be peaceful with the Lord in my time of sorrow with relationships, and hopefully he will be peaceful with me.

I try to remember Jesus has awesome plans for me- more awesome than I could ever imagine! He has caused everything else in my life to look up- so why not believe that he will take care of me when it comes to relationships? I am defusing my bomb of anger and am ever-seeking peace in the Lord.

“Wait for the Lord’s help. Be strong and brave, and wait for the Lord’s help.” Psalm 27:14

“So our hope is in the Lord. He is our help, our shield to protect us.” Psalm 33:20

“But the people who trust the Lord will become strong again. They will rise up as an eagle in the sky; they will run and not need rest; they will walk and not become tired.” Isaiah 40:31

“All living things look to you for food, and you give it to them at the right time.You open your hand, and you satisfy all living things.” Psalm 145:15-16

“I wait for the Lord to help me, and I trust his word.” Psalm 130:5

What Is The Most Important Prayer of All?

Why do we pray? To get the things that we want, the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend, perfect job, perfect life? Do we pray that other people heal? Do we pray that we get what someone else wants?

People pray for all kinds of things. Sometimes we pray for ourselves and sometimes we pray for others. How do we determine what we should pray for? Prayer is basically asking God to fulfill some wish for something you have in your heart. The problem is, we as people are not perfect, and so we can pray selfishly or hatefully and end up not praying for the right things.

At Anderson University, a man was speaking at Chapel one day and he said, ”instead of praying for what we want, we need to let Jesus have a prayer to us that we can fulfill for him.” In other words, when we pray for what we want, we may pray for the wrong things. But because God is so much greater than us, he knows what needs to happen for true miracles to take place. We can pray for things that get us nowhere, but he could pray for us to do things that help truly change the lives of people.

So let him ask for what he wants from you, and let that be his ‘prayer’ to you. Fulfill his dreams by listening to him. And by fulfilling his dreams, we ultimately fulfill our own. This is all because God has good plans for our lives.

Listen to what he asks of you, and be obedient enough to do it. As a father, he wants what is best for us. Listening to him leads to what is best for us. Don’t listen to his prayers and we end up screwing ourselves over. Pray the Lord allows his will to be done- that he accomplishes everything he needs to accomplish through us.

My friends, the most important prayer of all is the Lord ’s prayer, of course.

Another note on prayer: If your prayer is not contradictory to his word (ex. Praying to get lucky and have sex when you aren’t married, when his word says we need to wait until we are married), he is often very willing to fulfill a prayer. But when you pray, you must have one thing: faith! He feels this way: if you are bold enough to pray to him, at least have enough respect for him to believe that he can fulfill your wishes. You need to trust him. He says that with faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move mountains. So he will move your mountains if you have some faith in him!! 🙂

It’s important to try not to pray selfishly, for like a million dollars, but be humble and care for others more than you care for yourself, and he certainly will hear your prayers.

Sister, and Map of Your Life

My sister can be really cruel. She will yell at me when I haven’t really done anything. She will ignore me just like I am not there. I remember that all the time, we used to argue about something. I would calmly try to explain what was wrong in the situation, and she would just go “LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!!!” over me, trying to ignore what I said. She would just argue, claiming she was right without explaining herself.

She would always expect me to listen to her, but would not have the decency to listen to me when I responded. For months, this would be how we lived, me trying to be nice and her being too obnoxious to care. Not trying to say I am perfect, but she definately starts most of the drama in the house. She has always been very loud and abrasive.

I have to wonder if Jesus feels this way. He tries so hard to be nice to us, and then we don’t listen when he tells us to do stuff. When we aren’t obedient, we are being like my sister: stubborn and unreasonable. He knows what is best for us, so we should listen to him. Instead, we shut him out and do what is “right in our own eyes,” which may not be right in his eyes.

He’ll try to explain how important it is that we do waht he says, and basically, we go “LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!!!”

The way I see life is this:

He designed people so that we only see the road right a head of us and the road right behind us. So when we think, we think about only the immdediate future, focus on tomorrow, only on the very next step we take. God is all knowing and all seeing, so he sees the map of the world.

He knows all the roads we need to take and all the ones that lead to disaster. All the ones that lead us to where we need to go and all the ones that lead us to nowhere.

For example, if he tells us to get off one road w’ere on, which just means he tells us to stop whatever we are doing at that point in life and focus on something else, if he tells us to get off that road, it’s because he knows that if we continue to take that road, it will lead us to disaster or lead us nowhere, so we get lost.

He may say go on a different road, but we can’t see the future like he sees it. The road he tells us to travel on will lead us to have success and much joy in this life.

This is why it’s so crucial to trust in Christ to lead you wherever he needs you to go. It’s important to be disciplined and understand that he is greater than us, so that we become less to ourselves. We only see a couple feet infront of us. So he needs to become greater and we need to become less.

We need to have faith in him and start to see the greatness and awesomeness of his power. His plans won’t always make sense at first, and that’s okay, because we should have faith that through listening and being obededient to him, he will lead us to live the most fulfilling and blessed lives- rich in love and joy and spiritual peace in our hearts. Who doesn’t want that?

I close my eyes to the ignorance of this world and trust in him. I put him first, trusting him before I trust all men. Men only see what is right infront of them and right behind them, and they get confused.

I try so hard in my heart to not treat him like my sister treats me, with disrespect or rudeness. Want to avoid being this way to him, avoid being nasty and cold? Be obedient. Listen to him when he tells you to do something. Remember he has the map of the world, of our lives, while we only see a mere road. Replace the selfishness to please yourself with respect for him. Respect that he will certainly always lead you where you need to go.

I once heard:

”A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be.”
– Rosalynn Carter

By putting up with my sister, I showed that I loved her, even when she was being stubborn. Jesus puts up with us when we are stubborn and want to follow misleading roads. Change your heart and follow the roads he says to follow. In your life, do what you tell him and you will gain most joy in life.

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