Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness’

Depression part 2- But Sometimes it is our Fault

Sometimes, we get depressed because of events and circumstances that are out of our control. But sometimes, we get depressed because of the destruction sin has caused in our lives. I know this very well from experience.

I was falling in love with a guy who was with someone else, and I got really upset with him and the person he was with. But regardless of what happened, I was still in the wrong, living in jealousy and dealing with adultery. This caused me a boatload of pain that lasted for a long time. I woke up in distress, feeling depressed. Our sins can cause so much destruction in our lives.

So we have to be careful with our actions, be careful that we are living for the Lord. I eventually did stop feeling depressed because of that guy I liked, but it was only after I had started turning away from those feelings and started tuning down my desire for him, and all the bitterness slowly followed in leaving. I forgave myself and forgave him and anyone else I felt like was to blame. My depression left when I focused on something else, and started trying to live like Jesus would want me to again.

As Christians, we have to focus on what is eternal as opposed to what is temporary. Being Christian, I still have problems at home, at school, and at work. My family still suffers, we take notice of the effects of this failing economy. I still cry, I still hurt, I still get confused and feel lost at different points. I still get angry. But how am I different from the rest of the world? I realize that there is hope beyond what I see today. Living the Christian life doesn’t mean the absence of suffering. But it means that you find strength in the love of God, and you realize that your problems are only temporary. You are with the Lord, and as long as you are trying to live for him, he will not leave you behind.

“The ways of God are without fault. The Lord’s words are pure. He is a shield to those who trust him. Who is God? Only the Lord. Who is the Rock? Only our God. God is my protection. He makes my way free from fault. You give me a better way to live, so I live as you want me to.” Psalm 18:30-32, 36

So we have to turn away from whatever bad things we are doing. Stop desiring to have what others have, stop gossiping and saying bad about others. One thing I learned from loving that guy and then letting it go: when I let go of the desire and anger, the pain and bitterness let go of me!

When I stopped caring so much about being with him and I started focusing on my own life, I realized that I was less and less bitter as the days went by. I was less angry and annoyed. so let go of your sins and the consequences of that sin will eventually let go of you.

I also realized that God forgives me when I forgive others. So when I let go of that guy and forgave him and his partner and all those who made that experience horrible, I realized that God would forgive me for trying to impose on that relationship. God will treat us how we treat others, he is just in this way.

“But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right. He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done.” 1 John 1:9

“Don’t judge others, and you will not be judged. Don’t accuse others of being guilty, and you will not be accused of being guilty. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37

“I will forgive them for the wicked things they did, and I will not remember their sins anymore.” Hebrews 8:12

Forgive ourselves, forgive others, and seek forgiveness from God. Doing this helped to lessen my depression, and it can lessen yours, too.

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Anger and Bitterness part 7- Words of Encouragement

“Yes, if you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins.” Matthew 6:14

The bible says that we forgive others, even when they have really wronged us, God will forgive us when we have really wronged him. See how that works? Be treated how you want to be treated. If you put aside such anger and the harsh feelings, God will put aside his anger when it comes to the bad things you have done. It can help to make you right with God again.

“Patience is better than strength. Controlling your temper is better than capturing a city.” Proverbs 16:32

You want to know why patience is better than strength, much better than capturing a city? Because being patient is so difficult! This verse is saying that it is such a triumph to develop patience with people and with the Lord, because in reality, it’s hard to be patient. We all want things, we want God to listen to us and do the things we want him to do, at the time we want him to do it. But one really hard lesson I am learning is that God won’t work that way. He will put you in situations that make you wait for him to move; that make you completely trust him. I really feel that way in my life right now: like I can’t get anywhere or do anything or really live at all if God doesn’t act first. He is teaching me to be more patient. Sometimes, we get so angry at God when he doesn’t listen to us, but he is teaching us to be patient, teaching us that he does things when he is ready, and not necessarily when we feel ready.

“My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: ‘I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,’ says the Lord.” Romans 12:19

Guys, this is true. When people treat us badly and act horribly towards us, we don’t need to go out of our way to punish them. God sees the things that they do; he sees the things everyone does. We can’t hide anything from him, he knows all that is in our hearts. And he will judge those guilty as guilty. He knows who walks with him, who lives for him. The bible also says,

“They are blessed who realize their spiritual poverty, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. They are blessed who grieve, for God will comfort them. They are blessed who are humble, for the whole earth will be theirs. They are blessed who hunger and thirst after justice, for they will be satisfied. They are blessed who show mercy to others, for God will show mercy to them. They are blessed whose thoughts are pure, for they will see God. They are blessed who work for peace, for they will be called God’s children. They are blessed who are persecuted for doing good, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. People will insult you and hurt you. They will lie and say all kinds of evil things about you because you follow me. But when they do, you will be blessed. Rejoice and be glad, because you have a great reward waiting for you in heaven.” Matthew 5:2-12

God will reward those who work hard for him. If we trust in the Lord, when we grieve, God will ultimately comfort us. A lot of times, it’s not instant comfort, but if we keep trusting in him, he will bring us that comfort. When we are humble and put others before ourselves and look out for others, God will lift us up. He will make the proud last, and the humble first. God does opposite things like that. If we seek out justice, God will satisfy us. If we seek out evil, things will not go well for us. God knows when we have pure thoughts, like I said, he knows what is in our hearts. When we work for peace in the world, while holding on to our faith strongly, we truly are the children of God. God loves it when we work for the good of others. And in many different ways, he will let us know that he loves it. People will persecute us. People will say bad things about us.

But if we pursue God even when our worlds seem to be crumbling (which they often do), God will reward us, and we will be a blessing to others, rewarding others with the good that is in our hearts. I try my best to live like this every day; pursuing God, even when my world seems endlessly difficult. Jesus says we don’t need to worry because in this world, bad things will happen, but we should have faith because he has overcome the world. He has overcome all of our problems, before we even have them. He has overcome all of our struggles and worries, before we even begin to struggle or worry. He has overcome all of our sins, before we even begin to desire the sin in our hearts. Trust in God because he is bigger than you, and he can easily handle things that are impossible for us to handle.

Holding on to bitterness and anger prevents God from using us in his awesome and mighty plan. We come to a screeching halt in our relationship with God. We hold on to past things that have happened, and we stop loving and refuse to care for certain people, and then it’s like a ripple effect in our lives. It effects the things we do, how we view the world, what’s in our hearts, and ultimately, how we decide to live our lives. Be encouraged by knowing that Jesus has already overcome the world! He has overcome your world, my world, his world, her world, their worlds, every one’s. We just have to begin to trust that, and then he can reveal that to us!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Anger and Bitterness part 6- Humility and Forgiveness

We ultimately have to learn to forgive, and move on with our lives. We can’t hold all that anger and bitterness in. It can wreck our relationship with those around us and with Christ. Sometimes, you are really wronged. Sometimes, people do go too far, cause too many problems and too much drama. But at the end of the day, we are still called to forgive.

Let me stop right here and say that that doesn’t mean that it will be easy. Sometimes, forgiving is one of the hardest things to do. Forgive that person, after all the damaged they caused you? Forgive yourself? Why should you?

I can’t count how many times I have felt betrayed, back-stabbed, or whatever. People have made me so angry I didn’t know what to do, time and time again. I ultimately do forgive the people who have hurt me, but depending on how deep the wound, it could a short amount of time or a very long amount of time for you to heal. It once took me a couple years to forgive someone.

A good thing about forgiveness is that when you finally work up the courage to, and your heart becomes big enough to, you finally get over all the bitterness. You know how sometimes when you refuse to forgive someone, you say “no way! I am never going to let go of it! They hurt me so much!” Have you ever noticed that when you won’t let it go, that pain won’t ever let you go? The more you think about the person, the angrier you get, and the more you feel that pain they caused. But when you forgive, you stop thinking about them, that anger dwindles down, and the pain finally really goes away!

I know this from experience. When I forgave someone who broke my heart, I wasn’t angry at them anymore, I didn’t want them to die, I wasn’t in pain because they ignored me, it was like I was totally uninhibited. I didn’t think of them and wince or cry or anything, as I did before I forgave them. I was perfectly fine. But that was after a couple years and some hard work. I had to focus on other things in my life and stop obsessing over that one thing. I had to spend time with God, reflecting on ways to heal, and how to fix my horrible decisions. I had to pray and ask God to forgive me for holding so much anger in.

One reason we should forgive is because God forgives us when we forgive others.

“Don’t judge others, and you will not be judged. Don’t accuse others of being guilty, and you will not be accused of being guilty. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. ” Luke 6:37

Every mistake we make, every heartache we cause our Father- if we can turn away from the bad things we’ve done and sincerely apologize, God will forgive us. Every time he saw us lie or cheat or be proud or anything, he never stopped loving us. Then who are we to stop loving him when he challenges us? Who are we to stop loving others when they are challenging for us?

Did you realize that while Jesus was on the cross, he was forgiving all of those people who abused him and beat him and mocked him? He was forgiving those who persecuted and executed him? He was forgiving those who were cheering because he was bleeding and dying? Thinking of that makes me feel so small, and so I wonder: who the heck am I not to forgive?

Pray that God will give you the strength to be able to get over your bitterness. It’s not easy, but certainly you can do it with the Lord’s help. God knows it when you trust in him for help. He can help to take away that pain and brokenness inside. I know from experience. If you can learn to say “I forgive what they did to me, I won’t hold it against them anymore”, God will do the same, and turn his head away from your sins and the bad you do. He will treat us how we treat others.

*Poetry Corner- The Stars of God

The Stars of God

I step on stars and find a place
Somewhere inside this galaxy
A place so far away from every ordinary day

Sit on stars, begin to pray
For peace inside, He forms a way
For me to reach an inner bliss
That I have never known before
This day

Singing on a star tonight
Elated, I feel lifted high
Like I’ve gained the ability to fly
Fly, far away

Sleeping on a star tonight
There is no reason to be so scared
He chipped away at all of my
Horrendous, internal nightmares
I sat in awe, watching as they
Just all unwound and frayed

Now I only think of ever
Dreaming the most beautiful
Of dreams
Where holes were ripped in me
He stitched me back together
At the seams
And then my limp heart
Felt so real, so very, very real
There’s just nothing like dying,
Then regaining ability to feel

Stars, stars, stars
Shine your light on through
There is something really sweet
That keeps carrying me through
All of the most awful of days
I know something
Better
Comes my way

Dancing on the stars tonight
I couldn’t feel happier here
There’s something ever beautiful
That’s drying up my tears

And I feel mesmerized inside
I cannot help but close my eyes
The world around me is peaceful,
I feel ever alive

EVER ALIVE

——————–
Poem I wrote about my newfound faith in Jesus. 🙂
I want to spend so much of my life writing poetry and music for him. Making art for him, preaching for him, loving him.. doing whatever I can. He makes me so happy! Even when he brings me sadness. I just can’t help but always be overflowing with love for him, as he loves me.

He loves us all, no matter what we’ve done; he always forgives. That’s something to always remember.

I try to always trust God because I know I will be rewarded for my faith in heaven. When I trust him, no matter what the circumstances are here on earth, he will bless me in heaven. I know he takes care of my heart and keeps it well, so I am okay no matter what the circumstances are. The condition of my heart is the most important thing about me, and I know he keeps it in good condition because of my faith. And a little faith can go a long way. The world changes, and I feel he has adequately prepared me for pretty much anything! Woohoo! Do you have faith in Jesus?