Posts Tagged ‘God’

Genuine Fire for Christ in Me

I’m not going to lie, life is hard.

God is messing with my head, playing with my thoughts. He keeps on testing me and making me feel all crazy, and though I can’t stand it now, I know in the end, it’s all for his glory, and that makes me feel awesome though I feel totally sh*tty sometimes, lol, and excuse my language, but I’m being totally serious. I love the Lord, but he can be so intense and seemingly irrational and seemingly mean and seemingly really awful. The seeminglies symbolize that he may seem that way at different points during your walk with him, but he never really is. If anything, we are truly the ones like that. Now God is quite outrageous and unbelievable. It always breaks my heart that he is so awesome and people don’t even believe in him. Truly, he’s like an angel while everyone else thinks he’s an ant; He’s like a soul singing a heavenly song while the world frowns at him, and it pisses me off. What has he done wrong? Satan has terribly distorted God’s word and God’s utter truths and we walk around confused and upside down with Satan’s foot on our back as he holds us to the ground. The world must learn
to see God just as I see God- I have to kick Satan’s… uhh, behind, lol. Haha, wow, I can be funny sometimes. =P But God is like stars glittering in the sky and Satan is like dung falling out of a gross animal’s bottom. The world is kind of the same as Satan, because we all cling to sin as if we are holding on to it for dear life, and it’s so hard for God to break through our connection with it because we are sin ourselves, even in our mother’s womb we were enemies of God, and he spends so much time trying to change that. It’s just hard for him, and so he’s going to reveal his glory through me by showing me how difficult his life is as he chases constantly after our pathetic and totally needy souls. He lets me feel pain like he feels pain to teach me, so that I can teach the world his truth in the most effective way possible. God may not always be fun, but he’s always some kind of wonderful. He may not make me happy often, but he can overwhelm me so easily with joy. He may attempt to knock me down like people attempt to knock him down, but because I am always aware that he is truly with me, it is okay. It’s never fun to be hurt, but I’m sure it will be fun for me to see his glory shining throughout the entire world, once he allows me to really change the world and where we are all headed.

Atheists and agnostic individuals and broken people and broken faiths is what this world is made of. I know people constantly attempt to shove me down because I’m a God follower, a Jesus Freak, a wacky individual full of religion, but even as God puts me through constant crap and pushes me over and over again, I refuse to give up on him and his awesome religion, because it’s the only one that matters. There are people with theological questions and questions about scientific evidence and all kinds of questions, and I guarantee that if it’s not one doubt, it’s 10 other ones… and truly, it’s just in our sinful nature to doubt God and always turn from him. God is fun, really. He can be like lighting a match on a crazy bomb full of excitement inside your heart, or he can be totally dreadful, but whatever he puts us through, he has rich and wonderful plans for all of his faithful people. You can never know exactly what his plan for you is, so all you can do is follow him and trust him as faithfully and as much as you possibly can. Hey, sometimes his plan is to kill you with some kind of sickness, or to let you fail and cringe and be in a lot of pain, and even though that’s super scary, it’s always for the sake of his glory. He will always use you for his glory if you trust him, and sometimes, even when you refuse to. He can allow you to get married and live a wonderful life and have wonderful children, or he can cause you to lose your job, but if these things can seem to happen without him anyway just because that’s the way the world is, then isn’t it comforting to know that with him, at least you know you will be okay because you will spend eternity in heaven with him? There’s nothing better than that! With him, in a way, you are allowed to take all the awful circumstances you are dealt in this world and have at least a tiny bit of relief knowing God is protecting you and watching over you, even when it doesn’t seem like it. You can’t see with his eyes and know his plans, so you can’t really judge him and blow him off because you don’t think he’s doing what he should be doing. If you are constantly angry with him because with his control over your life, some bad things seem to be happening, then you are actually the one doing what you should not be doing. God has totally embarrassed me for the sake of his glory, so even though it was humiliating, I’m somehow okay with it since I know he will do wonderful things with my powerful and outrageous faith for him in the end, and that’s what I’m always looking forward to. Never give up on God, because he’d never dare give up on you, even when people constantly forsake him for the stupidest and most ludicrous of reasons. He will take care of you in the best way possible, in ways you can never really imagine because he is so great and awesome, even when it feels like he won’t or he’s not. He’s not stupid, and he’s at least 1000 times smarter than you. Lol, he’s infinitely smarter than you, and I will always take comfort in that, coupled with knowing that he is kind and sincere and compassionate and loves his people very, very, very, very much. I’m only 17 and I know this because he has ROCKED MY WORLD SO AWESOMELY! I mean, LOOK AT ME!!

What kind of 17 year old talks as eloquently as I do about Jesus, especially going through all the crap I’m constantly going through? Especially as my world seems to constantly fall apart? I barely enjoy church anymore because God is making my experience feel kind of awful so that his glory will shine through me. I don’t care if I have to feel like crap day in and day out for a long time if it means that God will change the world with my unbreakable faith.

I’m here to lead the broken world to Jesus, and absolutely nothing short of that. One day, in my room, I was thinking what I would do after I accomplish my career as a musician of some kind and after I sing and write my poetry and books and stuff (yeah, I’m a total art nut), and he put in my heart that I would preach. Woohoo! There’s nothing really better than that that you can do for God… though truly, we are all preachers of the gospel just by spreading his word and continuing to grow stronger in our faith with him. He’s so totally awesome. I don’t care that I get embarrassed sometimes because God makes me look silly for various reasons. Dang it, I know it’s always totally worth it in the end. 🙂
Love you like crazy, Jesus Christ!!!

P.S. The AWESOOOME church I attend is NewSpring, lead by pastor Perry Noble, check out Perry’s cool blog and the NewSpring site to watch totally awesome videos, duuude. Lol, haha, but yeah, watch them! ‘Kay I’m being kind of silly. =P But really, please watch them!! Check out Brad Cooper’s Blog for NewSpring students, and check out The Chill which is the totally awesome Christian thingy taking place at my school. You won’t regret looking at any of these links… well, at least in the long run! Haha, have a rockin’ week peeps.

Love ya all like crazy, like Jesus loves me… well, of course, less than that, but still. 😉

Jesus Info 101- Knowing Jesus, Growing through him

To really know Jesus and become a Christian, and I’m hoping not one of those boring ones, who are raging hypocrites, and who lie, and are totally fake, you have to really know Jesus Christ, meaning, you need a relationship with him.
Now, what is a relationship? Is it not often a bond between two people, where they can communicate ideas and feelings and thoughts? Well, that’s what I believe a good relationship is, and he wants great relationships with us. Little do people know, it takes more than a prayer, or just changing the way you act to become a Christian; there has to be an actual change in your heart. You have to learn to trust Jesus, and know that he is perfect, and that he is Lord of all, and that he saved us, the entire world, from ourselves by dying on the cross for us.
Many people know about Jesus, but they have to realize that to them, he needs to be as real as the air they breathe, and as the sunshine in the sky; he needs to be this real to them. When we realize that we need him and are dependent on him, and we totally believe in our hearts that he saved us, and that he is supposed to lead us, we can finally truly gain a relationship with him. He loves us, and if he really knows what’s best for us, why would we have to worry?

No one said being a Christian is easy, and often times, it may not be. But who really cares? If we are truly totally free with him, and we feel free, difficult times are sometimes not as difficult, because he makes our hearts stronger. He leads us, and he may test us, so that our faith may be proven as true or as breakable, and not strong enough. We need to be strong in this world that pretty much hates us all. Not that we haven’t deserved the hate, but we’ve got to really change so that we can really change the world. Boring Christians that don’t try to make a difference probably don’t know God like they should, and I am radical and extreme, and always trying to improve in whatever I do; that’s just who I am. Christians are supposed to be radical and extreme, which is shocking, because people think that we are not. And as a whole, we totally suck. But if we can change and learn to really know Jesus and to trust him, we can be much better off, and hold our heads high even in a world that is cruel and cold and ruthless.
Hardcore, solid faith allows us to really trust him, and to cling to him with a lot of hope. Weak hope is destructive, and not good for us. The closer we are to him, the more we realize he’s not a total pansy and that he is really quite extreme and awesome. And who doesn’t want to be like that?! That would be great- to be totally extreme and awesome! What Christians believe and what the world thinks of those beliefs are pretty awful. In fact, almost all Christians are way off in their beliefs, and when Christians constantly condemn people who are not saved, they make them feel unwanted, unimportant, and stupid. And people who are not saved are really quite awesome, but without God leading their lives, they can’t even realize how truly great they are. If God is King and his followers are his very own children, are they not princes and princesses of the God most high? People think being Christian is about giving up fun for the sake of getting into heaven, and how the heck is that motivation?
“Yeah, just totally live a boring life, and that convinces your heart that the heaven you’re trying to get into will be fantastic.” NO!!! That does only the opposite, so when people believe this lie, they become unmotivated, and Christianity gets ignored. Christians and non-Christians need to really change. Because non-Christians obviously can’t get into heaven, and Christians are so crappy they’ve distanced themselves from the truth they preach so much about, and their chances of getting in are slim to none, always slim to none. So what can we do to change this?
First, you have to learn what you need to do in order to really know God, and once you meet him you have to learn to grow in faith and grow spiritually, and let him change your entire heart for the better. This change helps make you a better person, and gives you his perspective on things, which helps to shape the way you act and all that you do. He uses individuals with strong faith in him to change the world, and because so much of the world is without religion, not many people have strong faith at all. But once you get this strong faith in him, he is able to really change the world with you, and you will live better lives than all others on the planet. Now better doesn’t necessarily mean having more money or more possessions or even different kinds of power, but you are better in that you are free from the dictating standards the world sets because you are set to follow God’s standards, which are different from the standards of the world, and much easier, really. Most people just don’t know that. You’re better because once God changes your heart, you learn to think better and more clearly and become more intelligent, usually, and you make better decisions, and you don’t end up in nearly as many dead ends as you would as a non-Christian. Your life is purposeful and not empty, and you are with someone who wants to take care of you your entire life, instead of you being the only one looking after yourself. And this someone wanting to take care of you knows everything, and has an incredibly good heart, so who else could you trust to lead you to where you need to go, and help you become the person you need to become?
So to know God, you have to learn to trust him, and even if the trust is weak at first, he can help make it stronger. You have to know that you are a sinner and that Jesus Christ saved your life by dying on the cross and rising up from the grave, and realize in your own heart that you need his forgiveness. You have to give your life over to him and allow him to lead you; you have to be submissive and learn to serve him, and that’s basically it. You could actually pray for this, as long as you remember a prayer doesn’t save you and never can, but it is a true belief of Jesus in your own heart that can allow you to become saved, since he is the only way to heaven.
What to pray:
“Lord I admit that I am a sinner in need of your forgiveness. I believe that you died on the cross for my sins and were resurrected. I now give my life over to you, please guide me and show me how to serve you.” <-this quote came from this site.
And then you can start your new life as a Christian; as a new follower of Jesus Christ! Once you really know him, he will lead you into doing what you need to do. It's good to go to church and start reading the bible. Most churches I know of are crappy, but this one addresses people in a way that's easy to understand, and you can just click the play button to start the video. The website is here: Click this!! There are plenty of videos here: Click this! on a variety of different subjects.
It’s also good to get help with your journey through the bible by reading with others and asking reliable people questions whenever you get confused, so that you can make sense of what it says, since there is plenty of information in it.
Good luck!! 😀

*Poetry Corner- What Kind of Words?

Note: This poem may still be edited. I just wanted to get it out and posted for people to see quickly, so I might change it around a little, though the meaning will remain the same. 🙂
(If edited, edit poem on computer.)
What kind of words can capture your soul?
What could I say to capture your soul
Inside the picture, that frozen instance,
Flash in time,
A freeze-frame in the camera of God?

The world is defensive, by habit-
Why should it be otherwise?
This world is cruel by habit
How could it ever be otherwise?

What kind of words can capture your soul?
Got only a few seconds to snap the photo right-
Right wherever you are,
Right wherever you are
At the time
What kind of words can save you
And your beautiful image
In the camera of God?
What kind of meaning could I instill in your life,
In your mind
Of the world, of this life
That is condemned by nature
What kind of words?
What kind of meaning?
How can you thrive timelessly,
Caught in a mere instance of beauty,
Caught in a beautiful, risky, instance

What kind of thoughts could I pass on to you?
How can I convince you to stay
And not hide from the camera?
Reviewing every photo within every photo album,
If you are not found, then you’re bound to be
Lost forever
No evidence you ever were really with him-
Maybe a memory in his head,
But don’t these memories fade?
Fade endlessly faster than photographs

Open up the gates of heaven,
For all who managed to be caught
In that instance in time,
In the picture

I fear that memories will form and fade
And wish like hell that they could only stay
And last forever, forever more,
But where were they?
In forgetful minds?
God holds tight to the proof of people,
Memories seem lovely, for the time being,
But maybe God grows old and gets Alzheimer’s, too-
Who’s to say you were there?
Your spirit is not captured within the photo-
Within his photographs

What kind of words?
What kind of truths?
What could I say?
The world laughs at our ways,
Taking pictures, always wanting to take pictures,
While they busy themselves with
Things that they believe matter
So what could I do?

What kind of marvelous words?
What kind of blissful truths?
What kind can cause you to be caught
In a sheer instance,
To live forever in the photo albums,
In God’s photo albums?

Basic Christian Info.

This is just basic background info about Christianity, and what I think it is all about.

Christianity to me is about following Christ. I guess there are really tons of different definitions of it, and a lot of denominations within it, and a lot of denominations that seem close to it. To me, none of these different classes are the most important part of the religion. Christianity is meant to be about realizing that Jesus Christ came to the world, not to judge it and send us all to hell, for none of us are perfect, but to pay for all of our sins by being our sacrifice by dying on the cross. He set an example of how we should be while he was living on earth for 33 years, and then he finally was murdered on a cross and was successful in saving us all. Since he was perfect through his entire life and did not sin, he was capable of saving all of us. Because everyone else in the world cannot manage to never sin as he did, we were and are not capable of rescuing our own selves from what we all deserve for the sins we commit, hell, and that truly is all we deserve, but God has mercy on us. So now if we truly have him in our heart before we die, when we are judged by God, we can make it to heaven, but most people don’t realize that you cannot ever have a possibility of getting into heaven with knowing Jesus, because he is the only way to reach the Father, and he is the pathway from earth to heaven; without Jesus, there is no pathway. So we are incredibly fortunate, even in an overly broken world.

I say all this to get to the point that in order to know Jesus, you have to confess in your heart that you are a sinner and that Jesus died on a cross and rose from the grave so that we may be saved, and you have to make him Lord of your life, and you really have to submit to him. It is important to realize that he is sovereign and above all, and that he can see all we cannot see and do all we cannot do, and know all we are incapable of fully knowing. It’s important to know he is full of love, grace, and compassion, but he is also outrageous and does not put up with crap. Truly, he does, because he seeks our hearts day after day, and we are not good and are only inclined to sin and have been enemies of God since we were in our mother’s womb, and putting up with us is really the hardest thing ever to do, but he does not put up with people putting others before him who are not perfect and are not truly the one and only God, and he despises all these idles, and he hates that we sin, because it is so bad for us, though he does not hate us, and he hates when people do not remain faithful to him, because clearly he is the best thing that could ever happen to any of us, by far, and he has always remained faithful to us, even as we as a whole fall farther and farther away from him. How do we know this? Because he chases after us all the time and he is never not at work seeking our hearts, even though we never realize that he works so hard to get us to him. It’s important to know that we, as his people, us Christians, are his plan A to reach and change the world, and there is no plan B. That tells us that we have such an incredible responsibility handed to us, and we cannot change that, and it also tells us that since the world does not know God and treats him worse than anything else in the world, his people are definitely screwing everything up, though truthfully, it is not easy to change a world so volatile and that so often scoffs at the name of God. But there are few individuals, like myself, who dedicate themselves to changing this crappy statistic we have, and this god awful reputation we have really EARNED for ourselves.

To my next point: In order to know Jesus, you have to have an actual change in your heart, and it is when you, in your own heart, put your full trust in him and what he does, and you allow him to lead you wherever he needs you to go; it is really about giving up complete control and giving it all to him, for he is able to move and make a difference when he leads. After all, he is the perfect one, not us. You can’t just pray a prayer or say words, because empty words do not save you. Faith that is true and genuine, like the sun in the sky, like the air we breathe, is what allows us to really call out to him and draws him into us so he can answer us. He doesn’t just listen for people who say words, for he judges the heart, and not the exterior, as the world does. He’s a sweetheart, when you really know him, even if he does things or says things you don’t want to hear, because he is always looking out for our very best interest, and our very best interest is always him, so listen to him!
Christians in today’s world are full of crap. They are hypocrites, liars, and sin; even if they try to disguise that by claiming they know the Lord (putting lipstick on a pig does not make it not a pig :)). I’m sure that most Christians don’t know God like they should know him, and this is why we get nowhere. It’s hard to know how you’re supposed to know him because the world is stupid and gets so lost so easily without him. When you say screw him, as many people do, and you don’t let him lead your life anymore, he will always want you to put him first and will still reach out for you, but he will not beg you because he has a breaking point, just as everyone else does. He’s not some alien who doesn’t understand or can relate to our world- why would we go to him if he really didn’t understand us? Why would he be able to capture certain individuals’ hearts they way he can? So he breaks, but if you ask for forgiveness, remember he is always a forgiving God, and he can take care of all sorts of sins. Did he not pay for them all? He forgives, but even with forgiveness, you must realize you need to try to get back on the right track and to not keep doing the thing you have to ask for forgiveness for. People never work nearly as hard as God does, and really, in comparison, we sleep all our lives while he is wide awake running around the world trying to get people to him.

Image from

One more point. God is genuine, and he has a heart, just like everyone else. If you laugh at his ways or scoff him or get really angry at him, he feels that. He feels it when we turn away from him and when we refuse to listen to him. He knows it when we’re sad and broken, and he is always capable of healing us. He is astounding and incredibly bizarre, but he does have feelings that are tender and true and he is sensitive to all that we do, and all that we say. He gets angry when he is ignored and disobeyed, and gets tired of dealing with a world that refuses to turn to him. He is hurt when people die and don’t know him, and that’s basically the entire frickin’ planet. Ugh. We’ve got A LOT of changing to do. So that’s what I’m here for; to tell this tell of God and Jesus Christ, because really, Christianity is his story, and everything in it is his story, and he is the only hero in this (true!) tale. I’m here to attempt to change lives and to tell the world about him. And even as I go through really difficult times, I know and am conditioned to never ever turn from him, no matter how much pain I go through and no matter how difficult it is, because he is always there for me, and wants me to be there for him, and so really, who am I not to listen? I’m only here to lead people in the right direction, and not to be counterproductive. Thank you. 🙂